You wonder why you aren’t feeling like extending yourself to be social.

 

Or putting a certain kind of “work” into your entrepreneurial path.

 

Maybe you have ideas about how your life might be enhanced if you “put yourself out there more.”

 

Or if you could just implement certain systems, consistency, or plans into your business.

 

 

You judge yourself for being lazy,

 

And perhaps even recall the kind of success & growth you’ve experienced in the past from putting in “the work” or taking the right steps.

 

You consider “pushing yourself” a little more…

 

And oscillate between giving yourself permission to be where you are - to questioning if something is “wrong” with your priorities.

 

 

 

 

I’ve been traveling for over 5 weeks -  Italy, Greece, and now Spain.

 

And I’ve become intrigued by how certain actions can feel so laborious,  impossible, or misaligned for days, months, or even years…

 

And then totally accessible & easy at another time, in another place.

 

 

 

Before I moved to Austin in November 2021, I spent 7 weeks in Miami.

 

Within a couple days of being in Miami, I received the revelation that I would not be returning to Calgary, and that building a life in the US was my next step.

 

It felt so right to be in Miami during that time, to the extent that I started looking for apartments there.

 

None of the apartments I looked at felt right.

 

But the most interesting thing to me about those 7 weeks, was that I did not create any new connections.

 

For whatever reason, it was a completely solo season.

 

It kind of amazes me, looking back, because I’m an extrovert and I typically like to be in some degree of interpersonal every day.

 

When I followed my energy each day, it led me to walk, reflect, workout, eat, watch Netflix, and work on my biz - all by myself for nearly 2 months straight.

 

7 weeks in, I was walking down the street and something said “It’s time to GTFO of Miami”… and then I got the call to Austin.

 

In Austin, my energy immediately opened up to new connections and I began establishing a long-term community.

 

 

 

Another story…

 

I have held responsibility for ALL of the accounting & bookkeeping in my business for the last 6.5 years.

 

To most business owners, this is insane.

 

Usually, this is one of the first things business owners outsource. Like many people never endeavor to do their own books at all…

 

My accounting workload doubled when I opened the US corp as a sister to my Canadian corp.

 

I still held it ALL. Every month.

 

And it just felt right.

 

Not only that, but in the moments where the workload became highly stressful because of how much I was holding in every other aspect of the biz, it felt strangely impossible to outsource the accounting.

 

The complexity of systems & nuance I was aware of just seemed like way too much to teach another person.

 

Until 6 weeks ago.

 

I was sitting on my porch and I thought to myself, “I’m ready to hire someone to do my bookkeeping and accounting. It’ll be easy.”

 

And I instantly knew how I would offload all the tasks.

 

I’ve since hired someone and it’s been a super easy transition.

 

 

 

Last story…
 

While traveling these past weeks, I have judged & questioned myself for not wanting to open my energy to new connections.

 

I have also wondered why I am not willing to put in “the work” to pursue certain growth avenues in my business.

 

After all, my mind says doing these things would help me achieve my goals…

 

But it hasn’t felt right. And there’s been no energy for it.
 

Am I lazy? Tired? Burnt out? Too over-extended? Ungrounded?

 

Socially broken? Boring? Depressed?

 

 

I recognized the amount of work I have been putting in, each day, to solve other kinds of problems.

 

I seem to be very motivated to meditate & sense into where my body is being called to travel next.

 

Where is yes, where is no.

 

I seem to be willing to go through the discomfort of “weaning off” the coziness of Austin & many family-like connections for this period of time.

 

I seem to be motivated to deal with the uncertainty, excessive planning, & coordination of ongoing travel.

 

And I’m having an effortless time unpacking some unconscious relationship patterns that I haven’t examined in myself before…

 

 

 

When I reflect on periods of my life like what I described in the first two stories,

 

There seem to be very clear shifts in what I’m willing to “work on” or open myself to, depending on the season.

 

Looking back, Miami was clearly a period of release & re-calibration before embracing a new home in Austin.

 

And my years of persistence with bookkeeping & accounting, even when it was über stressful, gave me an in-depth understanding & confidence regarding aspects of my business that other entrepreneurs simply don’t have.

 

(This also served me big-time in the US Visa process).

 

This all leads me to conclude that on some level, as nonsensical as it can seem in the moment,

 

What we are willing to “work” at, or not, adjusts over time to serve a greater timeline that we can’t often appreciate in the present moment.

 

 

 

So is it laziness? Apathy? A lack of discipline? Depression?

 

Or is your system simply focused on solving other kinds of problems that, for reasons we may not presently understand, serve an important future...

 

 

The primary way I connect to what does have energy and what feels alive, is through the body.

 

And specifically through listening to Pussy & Womb.

 

When we choose an intention for something we desire to feel or experience in life,

 

It is not our responsibility to figure out with the mind how to bring that future to fruition.

 

It is our responsibility to speak the intention, and then trust the body’s connection to the unconscious field of intelligence.

 

This means trusting that our body (and especially Pussy!) can sense - with far greater accuracy & efficiency - what brings our desired reality into being.

 

The question is, can your mind get out of the way and can you trust what has energy in your life, and what doesn’t, even when it doesn’t “make sense” according to your vision?

 

 

If you want to learn more about listening deeply to the body’s intelligence, join me for only $49 in Viva La Vagina 2.0 here.

 

Love,

Courtney