This year, let’s normalize something powerful: “No” is a complete sentence. For Neurodivergent individuals, the holiday season can be a gauntlet of unspoken expectations, overstimulating environments, spicy political conversations, and sensory nightmares that are as unpredictable as they are overwhelming. Setting firm boundaries isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary. Whether it’s protecting your peace, navigating tricky family dynamics, or prioritizing your own needs, saying “no” unapologetically is a gift you can give yourself this year. Here are some examples of how to reclaim your control and protect your energy when things get tough:
•"No, we are not able to make it to Thanksgiving this year."
•"No we aren't going to stay for the entire day."
•"No, we are not staying here today if the conversation turns to politics."
•"No, I'm not drinking."
•"No thank you, I'd rather not eat that."
•"No, we do not talk about other people's bodies in our house. Please don't say that in front of our kids."
•"No, we do not want to agree to disagree. We actually do not want to talk about anything at all with you."
•"No, I will not stay here overnight. My family is staying at a hotel."
•"No, I do not want to hear your opinion."
•"No. We actually can't stay here any longer. My family is ready to go."
Sometimes, the hardest part of family gatherings is holding firm to your boundaries—and “no” is the ultimate power move. Whether you’re prioritizing safety, sanity, or simply saving your energy for the people and activities that matter most, remember: your comfort and well-being come first. Here’s to making “no” a complete sentence this holiday season.
Would you like to hear more tips for boundaries? Which boundaries are the hardest? If you have a specific boundary scenario and need some scripts, reach out!
Need some dopamine, comfort, or a healthy dissociation this week? Me too.
Here are some of my favs. And…a good start to some holiday wishlist items…more coming soon.
Click on thumbnail for links!
No sponsorships here. Just a strong love for “stuff” that makes Neurospicy people feel better.
Numbered from left to right, top to bottom.
Atlas of the Heart by Brene' Brown. While I really don't love the title of this book, I do love the content. Brene' is known for her work on vulnerability and shame as a researcher, speaker and author. But, THIS BOOK is for us, the Neurospicy ones! She take emotions and makes them nerdy! Research on emotions, definitions, clarification, AND it is VERY readable. I reference this book often. Happiness, joy, and contentment are different. Why does that matter? Ask Brene!
Lego: The Milky Way Galaxy. Build something with Legos. It's a great way to forget your stress.
Aeropress. My extended family is full of the highest level coffee nerds will find. We agree on nothing as a family, except this. This is our favorite affordable coffee maker. Quick, hot, and one cup at a time. Very reasonably priced.
Aquaphor stick. If you're neurodivergent, I shouldn't have to explain this to you. We don't do dry skin very well. This can fix just about anything. No smell. Win.
Elf Holy Hydration Makeup Melting Cleansing Balm. For my make-up wearers…do you have a hard time washing your face and taking your make-up off? This is cheap, and does an amazing job, and I can often convince myself that it is luxurious and feels really good. If you're not looking to remove make-up, splash around with any good smelling cleanser for your face. It can feel actually pretty good.
32 degrees. If you do not know about this website, you are missing out! This brand is sold at Costco on the reg. But their website….is fabulous. My husband says, “Their clothes are basically free.” SUPER CHEAP athletic wear, soft fabrics, slippers, jackets, jammy pants, fake jeans, hoodies…all. of. it. They basically have an 80% off sale most days. And these slippers are literally pillows for your feet. They feel like a squishy sleeping bag slipper you can walk the dogs in.
Master Class: Want to nerd out on something new? Thanks internet, why yes I did need to become an expert on everything from my couch.
Rothy clogs. Look, sometimes you need to remember that you are deserving of luxury, comfort, and the best of the best. Are we still talking about shoes? Yeah we are. They're warm, soft, slide-on-able, and ridiculously overpriced. But also are $50 off right now. If you don't dig the fleece inside, they have clogs sans fleece. 12/10. They never leave my feet.
Costco hoodie thing. It's a hoodie-ish, blanket-ish, I don't know what it is. But it's the same fabric as a sleeping bag, and it has elastic to hold your arms in. Great for pretending it's warm out when it's not. And you can disappear in it. Sometimes I double up with a soft blanket inside too. But the inside is VERY soft. They never seem to have it in my costco, but they do have it online.
Carrot Cake Cookie recipe that has been brought to my attention. If you are team carrot cake, high five. If not, get your veggies some other way. But this is my preferred carrot intake method.
Canada Dry Fruit Splash (zero sugar or not…I'm not your doctor. Do you.) Do you remember when you were a kid and some adult was like, “ok fine, you can have a Shirley Temple.” And you were like YESSSSSSSSS! It's the grown-up version of that. And if you have "Autism-tummy", it helps.
Worry Lines: You're Doing Really Well Given the Circumstances book. Amazingly adorable book. @worry__lines on IG. Great follow. Even better book.
Do you have any dopamine producing, soft things, cool things, games, apps, websites, recipes, sensory tools, heroes, books, or online communities that you want to share with your Neurodivergent friends? TALK TO ME!!!! (soon please) Between all of us, we could have the hottest holiday guide out there. YOUR TURN to share!!!!
