The Cure to Comparison

Every Woman a Theologian

— The Cure to Comparison —

Dear friend,

Enter His gates with thanksgiving, His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name; good indeed is the Lord, His mercy endures forever, His faithfulness lasts through every generation.

- Psalm 100:4-5 -

Comparison is the thief of joy, they say.

But where does comparison begin? And where does it end?

Does it begin in social media, in books, magazines, in the home of a wealthy acquaintance –

and does it end when I get what I hope for?

Maybe comparison is not the problem. Maybe comparison is the symptom of a greater disease.

Maybe I compare, not because I want what others have, but because I'm not secure in what I've been given. I compare to assuage the feeling of inadequacy I can't quite quench. I seek a benchmark to tell me I'm okay because I haven't accepted the gospel that says I'm loved.

Comparison is not the problem. Discontent, restlessness, the unsettled feeling that there is something more I need for a fulfilled life – these empower comparison, motivating me to create more and more benchmarks of success. But more benchmarks means more opportunity for failure. And when I fail, I blame.

Those women think they're so much better. (They don't)
Those people never have it hard. (Not true)
That parents' kid is just easy. (Unfair)

Oh yes, comparison is a thief, but not just of joy: of community, of vulnerability, of affection, of confidence, of peace, of contentment.

Comparison begins when we refuse to accept the favor of God over our lives.

And comparison ends when we recognize and thank Him for it.

Baby after baby has been born this year. Beautiful babies, babies worth celebrating because they are lives loved dearly by God. Meanwhile, my box of pregnancy tests grew emptier. We changed plans with the doctor, choosing to discontinue further medication and treatments.

I could look left and right: Where is my happy ending, here at the end of a brutal year?

I choose instead to look UP.

My life is not measured by the markers of another's path. This is the adventure of life with God: the path we walk is unique us and Jesus. We are led by the Spirit and Word to the next right thing, and that may not be the same as the woman next to us. As long as I believe God doesn't love me, that God is withholding from me, I will seek some benchmark – some way to measure success – other than His love.

But when I look up at the face of my Father, it all becomes clear: There is so much to be thankful for. Starting with salvation and the opportunity to know and be known by my Creator, there is an overflowing vessel of blessing from the heart of God, if I will open my eyes to recognize it.

In the midst of hardship, thanksgiving lifts our eyes to God's faithfulness. When I thank God for the ways He has shown Himself faithful, kind, loving, and good in other areas of my life, I have the strength to keep believing in the parts that weigh me down. Secure in what I have been given, I can look into the face of the Giver with true gratitude even while asking for something more.

Because I know His face, I do not believe He has a withholding hand.

The gospel tells me that the favor of God is mine, and not just mine, but immovably mine. I choose to take Him at His word. When I do, the favor of God frees me from the lie that God has favorites. I don't need to compare; the benchmark has been met. I can know how I'm doing from the Holy Spirit's voice and the truth of the Word. I can know the love of God as real and beautiful, here in the land of the living, even while mourning what is dead.

If comparison robs us, thanksgiving restores us.

Thank you God, for how you are working in my children's lives.

Thank you for the wisdom you've given me for parenting them well.

Thank you for this home, imperfect as it is, to live and love others.

Thank you for this life, the breath I have, the chance to live another day in the light of your glory. Open my eyes to your goodness – I choose to take You personally.

What We're Reading for Thanksgiving

The following book list is geared toward children, but you'll learn a lot by reading aloud! We will be working through this stack over the next week and using our felt board Thanksgiving story (we made this last year), reading the Mayflower Compact, and listening to this playlist.

1621 A New Look at Thanksgiving
The Story of the Pilgrims by Katherine Ross
Thank You, Sarah by Laura Anderson
Three Young Pilgrims by Cheryl Harness
If You Sailed on the Mayflower by Ann McGovern
A Journey to the New World by Kathryn Lasky

Bonus: This looks like a great printable unit study! I have not personally used or reviewed it, but I use something similar.

My Advent Recommendations

Preparing for Advent? Here are some recommendations for making the most of this season!

What we're doing:
- Leland Ryken's Journey to Bethlehem for me!
- Pip and J's Jesse Tree ornaments and cards for studying the biblical genealogy of Jesus! We reuse these every year.
- 25 Days of Books: Each year I slowly collect/thrift Christmas books from quality book lists. We're at or above 25 now – I keep these in a book basket in the living room and we read one a day until Christmas! A suggested book list here.
- Advent Wreath: We keep our advent wreath on the dining room table to celebrate each Sunday leading to Christmas. To learn more about the wreath and how to celebrate Advent, check out this guide.
- Our Advent Devotional: I love using Peaceful Press guides for the kids' devotional routine. We are using All Creation Waits again – we love it!
My guide to Advent resources for toddlers
My 25-day Advent email series on the problem of pain and suffering: The Right Prevail
Check out our free guide for talking to kids about Santa – including a history of Santa and how to transition your kids to St. Nicholas and his story rather than the fictional one, if you so choose.

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Listen to Verity Podcast on YouTube, iTunes or Spotify – we are in the Beginner Believer series right now!
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Download one of our many free PDFs in the Resources tab, like our guide for talking about Santa with your kids.

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