As we enter December, I start thinking about the fact that 2024 passed in what feels like a giant whoosh and a grimace, and then think about what 2025 will look like for me.
There are a lot of question marks. One thing, though, that I am certain of is that I want 2025 to be a year where I concentrate on what I can do to make the world a better place. Some of this involves writing: I have been thinking a lot about my writing and what it means, and how important it is to believe in joy and to not give up in a world that seems designed to make people upset and feel hopeless. I’ve been thinking about what bringing joy and delight to the world.
I think about the dinosaur emoji; I think about being the change I want to see in the world. And these last few weeks, I’ve been doing something that I have not thought about, not once, since January of 2004, my 1L year in law school.
You see, when I went to law school, I had an idea of what I was going to do, and then I swiftly realized that the thing I wanted to do made no money and one of the only ways to pay off my student loans was probably to work for someone who represented large moneyed interests, and I didn’t want to do that. But I thought that I could still think about some of the things I wanted to if I was a law professor, and then I would never have to practice law.
So in January of 2004, I talked to a professor, and he said, “yeah, you can do it, here’s the easy path” and so I nodded and got on law review and got on the ed board and got prestigious clerkships, and lo and behold it was right, and I got multiple offers to be a law professor, and it turns out that this did not pay off my student loans; writing romance novels did, and it also turns out that I learned a little too much about how power covers abuse in those clerkships, and I didn’t want anything to do with it.
But right now, I’m thinking about what I can do. And part of me is thinking about taking the bar and finding an organization where I can volunteer time to help make this world a better, more just, place.
There has been no time before now when I’ve thought, “maybe I should practice law.” I still want to write books. I don’t think I want to be a full-time lawyer, or even have to make money off law, because it’s hard to serve the people who most need it if money is a serious consideration.
But right now, looking at the future… Right now, I’m thinking about the tools I have and what I want to be, and I’m thinking… right. So. Maybe I can do something here.
I still haven’t uncoiled how I want this to go or where I want to put my time, but I’m thinking.