Well done for making it to the other side of the ‘festive’ season, more or less intact I hope? I came back from a 7-day, 5-visit, 4-bed trip to England with a nasty bug and ended up snuggled up in bed with a very poorly dog, the darling Parsnip (above). And then yesterday, aged 13, she left this world and is now buried on the very same Irish hill overlooking the Atlantic that you can see she loved. The right hand photo is when she and I met, in 2016 and the affection was instant and mutual. As I wrote on one of my recent Substack essays, ‘life has been generous with her teachings around impermanence’ and that's a lesson that's always hard to learn anew. RIP Parsnip, who brought such uncomplicated joy with her everywhere she went, and I know touched many of your hearts too over the years as she was so very fond of Zoom-bombing our calls!
In a couple of weeks time (eek!) I'm off on the trip of a lifetime to Japan (and maybe the Philippines, depending on how the volcanos are feeling), so no doubt I'll be moving into manic preparation mode as soon as I feel well enough. (And if you live in Japan, do reach out and maybe we can say hello in person?!) Visiting Japan has been a dream of mine since my early twenties and, with the deaths in the last year of both my mother and mother-in-law, an extended trip away is something that is now possible. Although I suspect this will be the last long-haul travel of my lifetime; my desire to stay rooted in my local community as I age without children coupled with the crumbling state of ‘business as usual’ (due to the denial of those in charge of our world) will probably nix any future travel!
The end of last year was a bit of whirlwind for my Gateway Elderwomen project, with hundreds of new subscribers making me a Substack ‘Bestseller’ as many of my readers there took me up on my Christmas 50% discount offer. A few of you have been in touch and said that you didn't know about it, so here is a 50% discount voucher JUST for readers of this newsletter. If you've been wanting to support my work around ‘the adventure of elderhood without motherhood’, I'd be so grateful. There's a real hunger for the types of conversations we're having at Gateway Elderwomen, as well as for my emerging ALTERKIN (alternative kinship network) plans.
My February newsletter will be news from Japan - crikey!
Quick links on what's coming up this month's newsletter:
Gateway Women Reignite Weekends - the transformational healing weekend that I created in 2012 (and ran personally 50+ times!) continues with my team of licensed facilitators in the UK (London/Edinburgh) and Australia (Melbourne). We also have two online Reignite Weekends offered in the French language coming up, one each in EU/NorthAmerican timezones. All booking info here.
Find a Childless Practitioner - whether you're looking for a non-mother counsellor, therapist, coach or another kind of practitioner, do check out the listings on the Gateway Women website that I've been compiling for the last few years. We have some great new additions this month from Imelda Heaphy in Ireland (where there are still very few dedicated childless therapists) and Doha Chibani in Maryland, USA, who provides therapeutic services in English, Arabic and French. More here.
From the GW Archives: a recording of my 2019 presentation for World Childless Week - The Self Compassionate Heart. Self compassion has helped me more in my life than any amount of ‘self improvement’, including blasted ‘New Year’s Resolutions' (don't make those any more)!
Most of my work for the childless community globally, including the day (at least!) it takes each month to write and produce this newsletter, is unpaid.
If you'd like to support me, you can do so by becoming a paid subscriber to my Gateway Elderwomen Substack, (and feel free to use my 50% off voucher just for you here), or by leaving me a one-off tip at ‘Buy Me a Coffee’. Thank you so much to those of you who support me already, it means a LOT. You could also support my work by leaving a review for my book on Amazon or Goodreads-- I only make 20 pence/cents per copy, but it really helps other readers find it! And please know that if none of this is possible for you, I still deeply appreciate you and I hope my work continues to support you in your life, and through your childlessness.
The Reignite Weekend is the transformational healing weekend that I created in 2012 (and ran personally 50+ times!) in many different countries. It now continues with my team of licensed facilitators in the UK (London/Edinburgh) and Australia (Melbourne). We also have two online Reignite Weekends offered in the French language coming up, one each in EU/NorthAmerican timezones. The testimonials continue to show that this weekend often marks a ‘before’ and ‘after’ moment in the trajectory of childless women's lives.
There's nothing else in the world like our Reignite Weekends, and we offer no-cost payment plans too. Maybe 2025 is the year you take the plunge? All info here.
In amongst the many articles you might be reading about creating New Year's Resolutions, can I offer something different - some ‘self compassion’ instead of self-flagellating ‘self improvement’? I've come to see self improvement as an exhausting manifestation of our hyper-individualistic society which places so much of the onus of adjusting to an unjust world on us as individuals. What would it be like if instead you entertained the radical notion that you're fine just as you are? And that by leaning into a more compassionate approach to your perfectly imperfect humanity, you might find that being on your own side isn't self indulgent--it's empowering! I do hope you find some gentle and nourishing support in this 1-hour teaching webinar I created for World Childless Week in 2019 called The Self Compassionate Heart.
