We talked last week about the powerful, cosmic love story that can unfold when we purposefully embrace balanced polarity outside of ourselves. Because the blind pursuit of sameness in life and love — with no friction, no spark, no opportunity to create something greater — raises the question: 

 

 

This concept of opposition is much like honesty or even the idea of love. You’ll never expect honesty from others if you don’t first expect it from yourself. You won’t call in magnetic, heart-opening love if you don’t love yourself enough to believe you deserve it.

 

And when you reject the contradictions, polarities, and darkness you possess within, you’ll continue to pursue one-dimensional sameness without ... then you'll wonder why you feel so empty and uninspired.

 

Contrasts, edges, and darkness are what makes you the work of art you are.

 

Imagine your favorite songs without the strategic use of silence. Imagine great works of art—like La Siesta by Vincent Van Gogh (shown below at the Musée D'Orsay in Paris, my favorite museum) — without shadows and edges to bring those vivid colors to life.

In art and music, it is often easier to accept duality and the necessity of shadows. These shadows do not harm anyone or force us to confront potentially uncomfortable moral gray areas. Beyond that, living with integrity, adhering to a set of core values, and exercising morality are certainly essential to being a "good" human being.

 

However, we enter dangerous territory when we improperly moralize the rich contradictions and dualities that exist within ourselves.

 

We mistakenly believe that to be moral, one must be free of complexity or contradiction. We assume that the presence of shadows on the edges of our light indicates an irredeemable character flaw or a fracture in the foundation of the values we hold dear. We believe we are fraudulent, broken. 

 

You are a sum of all your parts, not just a select few.

 

 

 

 

 

On those days, you made a difference (for yourself or in the lives of others) because of your contradictions, not in spite of them. Every shadow matters as much as every sunbeam in your psyche, as they blend together in harmony to tell the story of who you are.

 

I guarantee you that right now, someone out there is so grateful for you. Just for being you. Not because they’re looking past your contradictions, your flashes of darkness, or the more shadowy aspects of your personality. Even if you’ve kept some of those parts obscured, they still see you as you are: whole, in vivid technicolor.

You’re a masterpiece, an unimpeachable study of light, shadows, depth, texture, and yes, sometimes darkness. You are the human equivalent of a dazzling galaxy, sparkling lights architected into wondrous, cosmic sculptures thanks to its invisible dark matter, holding it all together, informing the direction of every single starburst.

 

 

Athena was neither a passive philosopher who knew nothing of what it meant to take up arms in the name of a cause greater than herself, nor was she a bloodthirsty mercenary in love with war for the sake of it. Rather, she embodied the perfect balance of wisdom and courage—a brilliant military mind, as well as a bastion of peace.

 

She excelled in each role because she embodied them equally.

 

Balance is paramount to understanding our contradictions. By bringing those polarities into balance with love, we can achieve great things both within—deeper fulfillment and happiness in our personal lives, because we are truthful about our needs, wants, and desires—and without.

 

But if you are forever at war with yourself, you will forever remain at war with the world. 

 

Be light. Be dark.

 

Shine brightly in the daylight. 

 

Sharpen your edges in the most desolate of shadows.

 

Embrace your contradictions and watch what magic becomes possible. When we pour love into ourselves, exactly as we are, it becomes easier to pour love into the world. In doing so, we open ourselves to receiving the love and happiness we truly deserve.

 

And never doubt for a moment that's what you deserve. You do.