I can't remember when it happened exactly. Probably right before baby #2 arrived, a few weeks after buying our current apartment. As movers unloaded box after box into our space and the floor kept shrinking away.
That's when I began to realize the answer was no longer West Elm. If we were going to make it for the long haul in this 1 bedroom apartment we had just PURCHASED, the key to our happiness had to be hiding somewhere else.
But where? We started shifting pieces that had worked in our last two apartments. Awkward. More awkward with a side of disjointed.
It seemed like with every shift of furniture, something else was thrown way off kilter. And it started to affect me.
2 adults working from home, leading meetings, navigating the space with two little kids who still needed naps at totally different times, the chaos began to make me feel panicked and overwhelmed.
“We made a mistake. Maybe that beautiful calm is just an impossible dream I need to give up along with sleeping through the night.” I thought during a particularly dark night. “It is not meant to be.”
I'd love to tell you one day I found the magical key to small space happiness, nestled between gift cards to West Elm and a whole lot of cash. But that just isn't how this story goes.
I'd been complaining to a friend about my business and how unhappy I was with its growth, and that's when she gave me some hard truth.
“Khrystyne, if you can't find gratitude for what you have now. Right now, exactly where you are. Then when? When will it ever be enough?”
Sure we were talking about my business, but as I looked around my home, I realized what I had been missing.
Gratitude.
Gratitude for the space that kept us warm and held us safe. Gratitude for the peels of laughter echoing down the short hallway as the kids discovered their dad hiding in the laundry hamper. Gratitude for the kitchen full of food that nourished our bodies and kept us healthy. Gratitude for a home that put us out of our comfort zone and demanded that we adapt or die ;) (dramatic I know but sometimes it felt that way).
It didn't happen over night, but you know what did happen as I began to practice gratitude in my space?
Beauty. Beauty began to pop up everywhere. Beauty that rivaled that picture perfect snow-topped-brownstone and made us stop, smile, and whisper in awe,
"Wow. We're here. We get to be a part of this."
I began taking what I was learning and sharing with my audience.
I documented the nooks of the day where I saw beauty abound. And it amazed me how contagious that joy became. For myself and others. People began asking for advice and suggestions with how to reduce, organize and re-design their spaces.
Suddenly a new dream began (one that was no longer located in West Elm). A dream to coach others on how to create beauty and calm in their own homes. Beauty that lasted through the ups and downs.
And Space Jams was born.
I've learned that there is nothing out there you can buy that equals happiness. So at Space Jams I work with you to help identify what truly matters most for you and your family, and then coach you around the mental habits and shifts necessary to get where you want to be.
And I'll be honest. That snowfall was magical.
But getting texts saying,
“My son walked into our kitchen after our session and said, ‘It's like we have a new kitchen but its ours!''
Or
“My daughter opened the closet and said, "Mama its so beautiful!!”
Because those moments friends. Those are the ones where dream spaces are found.
