“My life is a slow-moving tragic comedy.”
He shook his head. “How do you do it? How are you able to locate the most worthless guys in every town?”
“It’s a gift.” I rolled my eyes but Ryan only grimaced like I was missing the point. “But here’s the really sad part. He’s the best man in Grace’s wedding and I’m supposed to be putting everything into making this special for her, but I’m out here white-knuckling it through every damn minute of wedding planning. I’m barely cutting it as a maid of honor and it’s because of this trash-bucket boy who had a ring in his drawer that wasn’t for me and I can’t get away from him for the next few months.”
I reached across the table for a glass of water. It was more to keep my hands busy than anything. Ryan’s knee pressed into my thigh while he drummed his fingers on his elbow. Again, my attention snagged on the ink peeking out from under his sweater. All of it came after high school. Some toward the end of his college years but mostly since turning pro. If we ever had more time to talk, I’d want to hear about every piece.
“Obviously, I need a revenge date to this wedding,” I said, laughing to fend off the bitterness, the hurt that still lingered right beneath the surface. The desire to scream until I lost my voice and the urgent, fiery need to make Teddy regret every single minute of it. I needed him to know how wrong he’d been—about all of it. “I’ve been working that angle hard, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a decent, tolerable human man who is actually, literally single and not just a creep on the internet? It’s next to impossible. I have been looking and looking for years, Ryan. Years. I’m so tired of dating. I’m so tired of putting myself out there and talking and getting to know people, and then watching it come crashing down. It’s one dead end after another.”
I traced the rim of my glass while Ryan drew in a deep breath. He went on tapping his elbow.
“Then why are you doing it?” His words were low, like he wasn’t sure he wanted me to hear.
“What am I supposed to do? Wait for my future husband to appear on the fire escape outside my kitchen window? I want to stop, but what is that going to get me? I want to be married, I want to be settled, and I want to stop feeling like I’m living in the in-between. I want to stop looking for someone to love me.”
When I was finished heaving my sob story into his lap, he met my eyes with a dark, even gaze and said, “You can.”
“What?” I turned the water glass, letting the condensation slick my palms. “What do you mean?”
“Stop looking. Marry me.”
In a Rush arrives in ebook and print on February 4, and audio with narrators Aaron Shedlock and Rose Dioro in March. No preorders at this time…but maybe later next week!
