First name / Friend,
How familiar are you with the concept of identities?
What about identity-based habits?
If you're new to these (or need a refresher), let me give you a quick rundown…
An identity is who you believe you are. It relates to the ways you think about yourself and the actions you take.
Examples of identity statements could be: “I am a value-driven leader,” or “I am someone who makes their bed every morning.”
Identities are a bit sneaky. Sometimes they operate beneath the surface and can either help or hinder your progress.
Author James Clear writes: “
Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously). To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself (
Source).”
Identities correlate directly with confidence. When you upgrade the beliefs you have about yourself and reinforce them through consistent behaviors, your outcomes change and your confidence soars.
. . .
The other day I was thinking about what I would need to do in order to achieve my goals in 2025.
I discovered that there was ultimately one thing standing in my way: a collection of lackluster identities that I'd held onto for a very long time.
I started writing them down, one by one.
“I'm a messy person.”
“I suck at budgeting and saving money."
“I'm not good at getting things done.”
The list climbed from three to 15.
All of a sudden I said: “I am sick of this.” It sunk in that for years, I had accepted that these things were just a part of me.
I had a choice. I could either play it safe or get curious about making a change.
I decided to explore the latter.
I zoomed out and thought about times in my life where I upgraded my beliefs to achieve big results.
I summited a mountain. I moved to a new city. I led two large organizations. I launched a business during a pandemic. And I gave birth.
If I could do those things, then I could at least entertain new versions of me. So I asked myself what I wanted Margie 2.0 to look like, and drafted a list. Here is what I landed on (in no particular order):
Margie's New Identities
I am a slow eater who listens to my body
I am someone who loves making and saving money
I am someone who enjoys a tidy home and living with less
I am a well rested person who loves their evening routine
I am someone who lets other people be wrong about me
I am someone who gives people permission to flail
I am an expert on emotional intelligence and communication
I am someone who gets s*** done at work and delivers for my clients
To be honest, it felt pretty awesome writing these down. Imagining my future self felt energizing and empowering.
. . .
Will shifting my identities be easy? Not necessarily. But if I never try I will run the risk of staying exactly where I am. And I am unwilling to do that.
Now back to you, First name / friend. I have three questions for you:
What have you been sick of not changing?
What are the narratives you have about yourself that could be a lie?
If you were to radically embrace new identities, what could your life look like?
This year I'm inviting you to join me in trying on new identities that scare you a bit. Try this activity:
1. Write down a list of any identities that are getting in your way.
2. Draft a list of new identities to explore
3. Circle three new identities (from step two) that will move the needle the most on living your best life.
Make a daily habit of saying your new identities out loud. Share them with a friend and make them visual. Decide the person you want to become and then prove it to yourself with small wins.
What is stopping you? I'm serious.
