The sun came out today, which reminded me how dark it’s been lately.
We expect that in winter, don’t we? Cold and dark and gloomy. “We’re having a real winter for the first time in several years and I’m kind of mad about it,” I said to a friend on the phone last weekend.
It’s not that I don’t like the snow. We’ve skied and cross-country skied and hiked more this year than the last few years combined. It's more about another week of not seeing the sun, not seeing temperatures above 30. Another personal loss and wave of grief. Another devastating news cycle.
It’s hard. Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.
“Our mindsets prime our expectations—so, what we think something is going to be like—and then our expectations shape what we actually notice in the world and how we interpret and make sense of those things,” she explained.
In this way, what we think will happen may actually happen. That’s the frame we’re using. That's what we’re choosing to notice and pay attention to.
We do this in our work, too:
- “I don’t have enough time to practice.”
- “I can’t get everything done.”
- “This is going to be a lot of work.”
Our expectations shape our experiences. But there’s something we can learn from winter.
“Winter is multifaceted,” Leibowitz said. “Yes, it is cold and it is dark and then you could make the leap to say that it is gloomy or depressing, but also it can be cozy and magical and special and fun.”
It can be a season of grief (like it has been for me), but also delight. Of stillness and gathering energy. Of slowness and contentment.
It’s not always easy to hold all of these things at once.
