A Good Youth Worker Is Hard To Find
By Andy Millman
The first thing Hutchins noticed was the missing leg. He didn’t remember anything on her resume or in her cover letter about it. He shifted his focus from the window to his desk, where the resumes sat next to a pile of takeout menus and old editions of the school newspaper. He knew the leg, or more accurately, the absence of one, wasn’t something that required disclosure, but he’d read so many resumes that contained much less useful information, such as “I like to bake,” that he figured having only one leg might merit at least a bullet point. He skimmed over the resume and saw no reference to any type of … absence.
Hutchins glanced back out the window, hoping the sun’s reflection off the glass would conceal his stare. She used a crutch on her right side, the one with the missing leg, and swung herself, step by step, toward the building. She was wearing shorts, which reminded him of balding men who shaved their heads and called attention to, rather than trying to hide, what they did not have. The temperature had crawled above 90, though, and the ad had stated the position was in an after-school youth program with a casual environment, so maybe shorts were simply more practical. Both he and his intern, Ira, were wearing shorts. But she wouldn’t have known that.
Now, he was open to hiring somebody with a disability. In fact, he rather fancied the idea. There weren’t many minorities in town and a disability was the next best thing. Perhaps there was some grant money available that he could drum up and in turn convert to a nice little pay raise. Plus, having somebody around with a missing leg might teach the kids to accept those different from themselves. Maybe they’d even lighten up on him.
Hutchins walked to the door and opened it for her. She appeared surprised at the act, her eyes opening wide and head tilting back, but she recovered quickly and thanked him. He invited her inside, continuing to hold the door open and stepping aside farther than was necessary.
“Welcome to our little abode,” he said, wondering where that sentence had come from and doubting he’d ever used it before.
He extended his right arm, as if he were offering a view to be savored and admired, or maybe a presentation of a lavish dinner laid out before her. The gesture was awkward and out-of-place, and one that she must have interpreted as an invitation to shake hands because she squeezed the crutch with her armpit and brought her hand forward. He shook it cautiously and released it quickly. When he then said to make herself comfortable, he immediately regretted his choice of words. Maybe she always felt a bit—off balance—and he’d just demonstrated either his insensitivity or his ignorance.
He introduced her to Ira, the college junior who was interning at the youth center while considering a career in teaching, and who was eating the raspberry coffee cake that Hutchins had bought specifically for the three applicants they’d be interviewing that day. Ira gave a little wave and nodded his head, which bobbled around while his mouth continued to chew.
She was taller than he’d anticipated, especially considering the one leg. Then again, would losing a leg affect one’s height, unless that person began to lean dramatically to one side? He wasn’t sure why he’d expected someone smaller. Perhaps it was her name: Tilly Connor. It sounded like it belonged to someone wee, perhaps even a child. There was something light about the name, as if a breeze could carry it away.
She made her way the dozen or so feet to the tattered leather couch the local hospice had recently donated and sat with a heavy sigh. Hutchins took a chair opposite her.
He told her a bit about the youth center, which occupied the former shop room at the school. The shop teacher had retired four years earlier and was not replaced. After sitting empty for a year, the youth center opened. Hutchins said you could still find sawdust if you looked hard enough. He chuckled when he said it, but she did not. She looked around at the mismatched furniture and turned back to him with an expression caught somewhere between disapproval and disinterest.
“Do you mind if I put my leg up?” she asked.
He had told her to make herself comfortable, as he’d done with every other applicant, but this was the first who asked to place her leg—her only leg—up on the table. Hutchins quickly told her to go right ahead, but when the foot landed next to the coffee cake, he grew uneasy.
“Would you like a piece of cake?” Hutchins asked, hoping she might relocate the foot once she realized its proximity to the food.
She placed her hand atop a solid stomach. “No thanks. I stuffed myself at lunch. You know how it is at a buffet.”
Hutchins would be too nervous to eat before a job interview, and a buffet carried a certain amount of risk no matter the occasion, but going to one before an interview was as foreign an idea to him as showing up to the interview without clothes.
“I ate at ‘Mounds of Meals,’” she said. “They charge you by the pound. I’ve learned to load up on the stuff that doesn’t weigh a lot, like onion rings.”
That old saying about eating or drinking great quantities because of a hollow leg came to mind (even though she wasn’t actually wearing one). Hutchins began to envision food traveling from mouth to stomach. Would it go directly to the leg from there, or were there stations in between? How much chewed-up food could a hollow leg hold? People could go days without emptying it. He grew queasy from the thought and tried to banish it from his mind.
“I appreciate you coming here,” he said. “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”
“Why would it be any trouble?"
He felt his words turn back on him. “Sometimes people have trouble finding us."
“Really?” she said. “I wouldn’t hire any of those people.”
In truth, nobody had trouble finding them. There was only one middle school in the town and it was located on one of the two main streets.
“Shall we start the interview?” Hutchins asked, hoping to put things back on track.
“I assumed we already had.”
This was not going well. Tilly made him uncomfortable, as if she were interviewing him. But he desperately wanted to like this one-legged woman and by golly find a reason to bring her on board. There were probably good youth workers in wheelchairs, and he would gladly hire them. Benevolently, he would overlook their disadvantages, like how their wheels would track in snow during the winter, or the fact that he couldn’t expect to toss them into the middle of a raging game of dodgeball. It wouldn’t be fair for players to take aim at someone in a wheelchair, and neither would it be right to fire projectiles at a one-legged youth worker. He knew a couple of boys who would see it as a kind of perverse carnival game, where instead of trying to knock over a milk bottle, they’d aim at her crutch.
Hitchins tried to focus. He asked some basic questions about her previous jobs. Her answers were short, rarely longer than a single sentence and sometimes as brief as a single word. She mentioned her last job (pet store) and why she’d left (bitten on the arm).
“I have a lawsuit pending,” she said.
“Against the pet store?”
“I can’t very well sue the hamster.” The thing was, she wasn’t smiling, even though Hutchins forced the petty laugh he thought the comment required. He grinned stupidly at Ira, inviting him in on the chuckle, or at least to be a team player and smile along with him. But Ira just stared at Tilly as if he’d encountered a new species.
Hutchins wasn’t certain he could spend entire days with both Tilly and Ira. Because Ira was essentially working for free, Hutchins placed few demands on him, even when he’d fall asleep watching TV with the kids. He’d hoped Ira had learned his lesson, though, when he dozed off during one of the Star Trek movies and someone placed a cold hot dog and two walnuts on his crotch. Hutchins had been at the administration office printing flyers and noticed it upon his return, but he chose not to wake Ira to inform him, nor discipline the kids stifling their laughter when he returned.
The topic of the lawsuit niggled at Hutchins. Would she entertain another suit if they didn’t hire her? Maybe she’d sue even if they did hire her, claiming that somewhere along the line she’d been treated unfairly. These kids were crafty, and mean. What if she fell asleep like Ira, exhausted from dragging her leg around all day, only to awaken to a food-vagina constructed on her crotch, or even worse, a food-penis?
Hutchins became aware of the long pause in the conversation. “Do you like children?” he asked, trying to restart things.
She shrugged. “I don’t dislike them.”
Interesting answer, considering the context. “I see you’ve worked with youth before.” He glanced at her resume. “At the … Mallory School for the Blind.”
“Yeah, I was a teacher’s assistant in a fourth-grade classroom.”
“That sounds rewarding.” He looked at Ira who bobbled his head up and down.
“Not rewarding enough to stay,” she said.
“Money was bad?” Hutchins offered.
“Yep. And it was hard controlling the kids. You’d tell them to line up and they’d be all over the place, bumping into things, running into each other. I mean hey, they couldn’t see a damn thing. Sometimes I thought they might be faking, you know, to get out of a real school, so I would try to startle them with my hand in their face, but they never flinched. They were blind all right—or real pros.”
Hutchins took a breath. “Well, I commend you for doing that kind of work. And now you’re seeking another position working with kids. Is this your first choice in jobs?”
She smiled. “Would it be yours?”
Hutchins didn’t answer. Of course it wouldn’t be his. It wouldn’t even crack the top ten. “We have some hypothetical questions we ask our applicants,” he said, moving on. “There are no right or wrong answers.”
“Then how do you evaluate the responses?” she asked.
Obviously some answers were better than others, and some were clearly wrong. But he didn’t say that.
“Let’s just see what you think,” he offered.
“You’re the boss.”
“Okay. Let’s say you’re working by yourself one Friday night and a couple boys are arguing at the pool table. Their voices rise and you’re concerned things might get violent. What would you do?”
She thought on that. “How big are they?”
“I’m sorry?”
“The boys. How big are they?”
“Let’s just say they’re average size.”
She scratched at her chin. “I suppose I’d say something like, ‘Hey, settle down over there.’”
Hutchins nodded. “And what if they continued?”
“I guess I’d go over there. Maybe ask what they were arguing about.”
“Good,” he said. “We try to encourage discussion. Get them to express their feelings.”
“And if that doesn’t work, there’s the old peacekeeper.” She lifted her crutch and slammed it on the table. Fortunately, it missed the cake. Ira recoiled as if he’d been struck.
“Well,” Hutchins said, “that would certainly get their attention.”
“I wouldn’t hit them, of course,” she said.
“Of course,” Hutchins echoed.
“Unless one of them hit me first. Then—” The crutch came down again with a vicious thwack.
Ira stood up. “I need to use the bathroom,” he said, and then scurried off.
“He’s a bit jumpy,” Tilly observed.
“He’s young,” said Hutchins.
“Well there’s no substitute for experience,” she said.
“No, there’s not.”
“There were lots of conflicts at the pet store,” she said.
Hutchins didn’t understand. “What kind of conflicts?”
“Oh, all kinds. Customer vs. employee. Boss vs. employee. Animal vs. employee.”
Hutchins noticed that all the confrontations occurred with an employee, and he wanted to know if she was the employee but knew he shouldn’t ask.
“Have you ever held a Komodo Dragon?” she asked.
“I don’t even know what a Komodo Dragon is,” he admitted.
“You’re lucky. They’re bastards.”
Ira returned looking like he’d washed his face. He sat down and said, “Did I miss anything?”
“Yeah,” Tilly said. “Your boss made a pass at me.”
“What?” Hutchins said.
“Just kidding,” she said. “The kids must have a lot of fun teasing you two.” She chuckled for a second and appeared, for the first time, like she was enjoying herself.
Hutchins cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure. Unfortunately, he was now thinking about having sex with this woman, picturing his sweaty body on top of hers, her one leg wrapped around his back. He told himself to think of something else, anything else. He went to his go-to channel changer, an image of his grandfather lying dead in his casket. And that helped.
“So how long have you been here?” she asked Hutchins.
Hutchins wiped the perspiration that had dotted on his forehead. “About three years now.”
“Did you study for this in school?”
He hadn’t. He told her that he’d studied math to become an actuary, which was the truth. He didn’t tell her about the failed certification tests and the miserable six months he’d spent at a large insurance company, nor his secret desire to work in a baseball team’s front office and put his love of statistics to interesting use. He simply told her that he’d changed his career path.
“That’s not uncommon,” she said. “Sometimes you change, and then the path has to change.”
Hutchins studied her. He wasn’t certain they were talking about careers anymore.
He glanced at her resume. “Well, you certainly have some good qualifications. We’ll be interviewing people the rest of the week, but we should have a decision by the end of next week. Do you have any questions for us?”
“I can’t think of any,” she said.
“Ira, do you have any questions?”
Ira looked at Hutchins and then looked back at Tilly. “Would you mind if I asked how you lost your leg?”
Hutchins felt his face flush.
Tilly didn’t flinch. “I lost it on the train,” she said.
“I’m so sorry,” Ira said. “There was an accident?”
“No, I just left without it.”
Hutchins wasn’t sure if this was a joke, but he wasn’t about to laugh. Ira tilted his head, like dogs do when they don’t understand.
Tilly smiled. “I had a prosthesis. I would take it off when it bothered me and use my crutch. I really did leave it on the train.”
Ira and Hutchins nodded.
Tilly said, “I learned two lessons, though. If I’m going to drink until I can hardly walk, keep my leg on. And write my name and telephone number on my next leg.”
“Well, it’s always good to learn a lesson,” Hutchins observed.
“Or two lessons,” Ira added.
“Yes, thank you, Ira.”
Tilly didn’t tell them how she lost her actual leg, but she took the other one off the table. She slid the crutch under her opposite arm and lifted herself from the chair. Both Hutchins and Ira rose with her. Hutchins looked around to make sure there was nothing in her path. She thanked them and told them it was nice meeting them. They said the same. At the last second, Hutchins asked if he could walk her out. She looked at him and paused for a moment. Then she said that would be fine.
She told Hutchins she’d parked in front of the school and he offered to walk her there. They were quiet for a bit, and he felt the awkwardness of something like a first date settle heavily around them. He caught sight of a newer-looking Subaru wagon parked in a handicap spot in front of the school. She explained, without his asking, that she drove with her left foot and was actually quite good at it.
“Listen, I wanted to thank you again for coming here,” he said.
“Yeah, you said that.”
“I know. I guess, what I’m wondering is, do you really want this job? I mean it’s okay if you don’t.”
She looked at him. “I don’t really like kids,” she said.
“That’s okay. Neither do I.”
“But you should. I don’t mean you should like kids. I mean you should like your job. We all should, shouldn’t we?” She leaned back against the car.
She appeared more at ease than she had inside. Her face relaxed and Hutchins noticed, for the first time, that there was something attractive about her. The sun picked up the hues of her auburn hair. Her smile grew almost gentle now.
“I suppose you’re right,” he said.
“Look, you seem like a nice guy. I don’t want you to fret about all of this. I don’t want the job. You can officially remove me from consideration.”
Hutchins didn’t say anything.
“And I especially wouldn’t want it out of sympathy.”
“No, no,” Hutchins said a little too forcefully. “It wouldn’t be because of that.”
“Anything you say,” she said and opened the car door. She rotated to face him and then sat straight back down before twisting into the car and pulling her crutch inside.
“Are you sure about this?” Hutchins said.
She started the car and said, “Absolutely. I don’t want anything screwing up my unemployment benefits.” With that she closed the door, gave a little wave, and then sped off much too fast for someone in a school parking lot.
Hutchins went back inside. Ira was eating more coffee cake.
“What did you think?” Ira asked before swallowing.
Hutchins shook his head. “She’s not right for the job, but I’m glad she came in.”
Ira nodded and turned on the TV.
Hutchins returned to his desk. The next applicant would be there in a half hour. A recent college graduate who’d listed every babysitting job she’d had since the seventh grade. He rubbed his head and took two Advil from the bottle in his drawer. He was almost out. He stared at the pile of resumes on his desk. He thumbed through them for the next ten minutes. Then he opened up a resume file on his computer and began reviewing his own.
~~~