Prince Pushkin being very gracious (and watchful) of the new arrival, Puffin McCool

Dearest First name / One,

 

First up, of course, I hope you enjoyed your introductory photo of Puffin McCool -  Finn to his friends. He's three-quarters Parsons Russell (dear Parsnip, RIP, was 100%) and one-quarter Fox Terrier, which means that when he grows up, he will have big whiskery sideburns like a Victorian gentleman. Nine weeks old and the most adorable little scamp. Pushkin, the resident Ginger Ninja (aged 12) is watching over the proceedings with the gentle benevolence that is his nature, and makes me love him all the more! Having not had a puppy since I was a young girl, I have been quite taken aback this last week how much like a human baby a puppy can be; similar attachment systems, vulnerability and round-the-clock needs (although babies generally don't chew your shoes, phone chargers and try to eat cat poo!) I've felt a part of my childless heart awaken in responding to his needs, and it's been healing to realise that I can do so these days without any heartbreak. No doubt you'll be getting to know Finn along with me as he become part of my life over what I hope will be many years of adventures together.

 

And of course, we move on to the elephant in the room that is part of every May most places in the world: Mother's Day. (Here in the UK & Ireland we've already had ours, but thanks to the gifts of social media, we experience some of the impact of the May date too!)  Mother's Day can be such a tricky day for so many intertwined reasons on top of our own thwarted motherhood including perhaps mourning our own mothers and/or managing our challenging relationships with them; insensitive family members, colleagues and the wider culture; the exaggerated visibility of our difference on Mother’s Day (particularly if also unpartnered); and the way that the day can surface other ungrieved life losses, including the absence of grandchildren. 

 

And so that’s why I’ve invited Katy Seppi, founder of the Childless Collective, to join me as my guest on a free Gateway Women Masterclass Webinar on Saturday10th May. In it, we'll share how we’ve each developed our own tools and techniques to manage the feelings that Mother’s Day can evoke, and what we’ve learned from supporting others to do the same through our work with the childless community globally. Free, live & recorded, more info and register here. In addition, the Childless Collective online community will also be hosting a round-the-clock live support chat covering all the timezones experiencing Mother's Day - it's a lovely way to feel less alone on a day that the culture singles us out! Click here to access/join the CC Online Community but please don't leave it until the last minute, as it may take up to 24 hours for your membership to be approved. 

 

Also on Mother's Day itself, I'll be sharing a special guest blog written for the GW Journal by Carrie Hauskens, the inspiring founder and writer behind Blooming with Care whom I met (and sort of fell in love with!) at the Childless Collective Summit last April. She shares wonderful short videos of her idiosyncratic ‘childfree after infertility' life on her Instagram @BloomingWithCare - highly recommend. It's so helpful to realise that there as many ways of living a childless life as there are childless women, and I can only imagine what a difference it would have been to me to have a window into other childless women's lives when I was coming to terms with my own unexpected childlessness. At the time, I felt like the only childless woman in the world, and I know that feeling wasn't unique to me either!

 

This month, I've added 6 new therapists to my listings on the Gateway Women website, bringing the global list to 75 therapists, counsellors, coaches and practitioners internationally. These listings aren't adverts, each one is a therapist I either already know or have interviewed on Zoom and feel comfortable recommending to you. So a warm welcome to Emma Bell (UK: Gloucestershire); Aude Campmas (UK: Hampshire, in English & French); Sara Wells (UK: Manchester); Katie Aguayo Zweifel (USA: Massachusetts); Dr. Olivia Blandford (USA: Texas and Statewide) and Alyssa Koch, (USA: Florida, Massachusetts, Nevada & Arizona). More info (organised by country) here. 

 

Sacred Woman Retreat (UK): Thursday 8th to Sunday 11th May
Did you know that three of the facilitators trained by me to lead our Reignite Weekends have got together to create the ‘Sacred Woman Retreat’ for childless women? It takes place for the first time next weekend in a really beautiful location on the English south coast and there are a couple of places places left. I know for sure that you'll be in very good hands! More info and booking here. 

 

It's lovely to hear from you and to understand how these missives from my world land in yours! Just hit reply and your message comes directly to me. And if you're feeling generous, and would like to offer me some support for my work (this newsletter alone takes at least a day a month to write!) you are very welcome to Buy Me A Coffee!

The Reignite Weekend is the transformational healing weekend that I created in 2012 (and ran personally 50+ times!) in many different countries. It now continues with my team of licensed facilitators in the UK (London/Edinburgh) and Australia. The testimonials continue to show that this weekend often marks a ‘before’ and ‘after’ moment in the trajectory of childless women's lives. All info here.