Hello First name / Beautiful Reader
Before I dive into this week’s letter, I want to give a quick heads-up:
Trigger warning: I’ll be talking about IVF, miscarriage, and pregnancy-related illness in this email. If that’s something you’re not in the headspace for right now, please feel free to skip this one. I totally understand and am sending love either way. 💛
Last week, I shared that I’m pregnant. 14 weeks now! And the outpouring of kind messages and support was so overwhelming in the best way. Thank you, truly. I also mentioned I wanted to start sharing more about what’s been going on in my life beyond the book releases and free reads.
So today, I want to share a bit of the journey that brought us here.
The Long Road to Baby #2
My husband and I have been together a long time since I was 20 and he was 22. We were together for 14 years before we had our first son, Tristan. And honestly, for a while, we were one-and-done. Especially during the height of COVID, the idea of being pregnant (and very sick, which I was the first time) while the world was so uncertain was just… too much.
But then, slowly, we started talking about it again. We tried naturally for about a year, but nothing happened. At 39, we decided to book an IVF consultation. I was getting older, and we figured. Why not try?
So, after a few weeks of daily shots (which honestly weren’t too bad!), we did the egg retrieval and ended up with 8 embryos. Out of those, 4 were genetically viable.
Sounds hopeful, right? But IVF is rarely simple.
The first embryo transfer didn’t take. The second had to be canceled because they found a cyst on my ovary, which I had to have surgically removed. The third, we messed up one of the medications a week before transfer and had to cancel again.
The embryo transfers are done without anesthesia (you don’t feel much), but prepping your body requires three solid weeks of daily hormone injections. It's not actually as bad as it sounds.
Last winter, I had another embryo transfer—and this time, it implanted. But at 7 weeks, we went in for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat.
I can’t really describe that moment except to say: time stopped. Then it cracked.
I had to take mifepristone (yes, the abortion pill) to get rid of the tissue before my body went to septic shock. But when I went to another ultrasound a week later, not everything passed. So I had to undergo a D&C.
After that, we had to take a 3 month break but we took much longer. Honestly wasn’t sure if we’d try again. We were (and are) so happy with our little family of 3 people and 3 animal companions (dog, cat and lizard). We felt full. We weren't even going to have one child initially, let alone more than one.
But…then this January, we decided to give it one last try with one of our two remaining embryos. So I started the shots. Three weeks later, we did the transfer.
And it stuck. đź’›
This Pregnancy: A Whole New Level of Hard
About four weeks into it, the nausea hit like a freight train. I was throwing up 5–8 times a day, completely bedridden, and honestly, deep in a fog of physical misery and emotional exhaustion. I kept up with the progesterone and estrogen shots through Week 12 (required for IVF), which just made everything worse.
I’m now 14 weeks along and finally feeling a tiny bit better, thanks to a cocktail of three medications that are working (somewhat) together to tame the nausea. I’m cautiously hopeful. Tired. Grateful. And still very much taking things one day at a time.
If you’ve been through IVF, a miscarriage, or debilitating pregnancy symptoms. I see you. It’s so, so hard. I thought I knew what I was signing up for… but this journey humbled me in every possible way.
And if you’re currently walking through any part of that journey, I want you to know: you are not alone. I’m here. This community is here. And if you ever want to share your story or just say “me too,” I’d be honored to hear from you.
And Now, A Moment of Joy...
After all that heaviness, I think it’s time for something a little sweeter. Here’s a recent picture of my baby boy!
