artwork by James Fenner

1. A really weird thought I felt like sharing with you.

2. A moment of grace for the problems that you face.

3. A tear and/or smile on your face by the time you're done reading it.

So get this: 

The other day I found myself thinking about  my “problems” — or at least, the things I consider problems in my life.

 

But not the everyday ones—like not being able to get back to every important email in my inbox every day—but the heavyweight ones. For example: not having the financial flexibility to travel to India to celebrate one of my best friends at his wedding; this problem showed up with feelings of shame for myself, disappointment and even grief. It's a problem that, aside from not being able to currently afford the trip, I made mean so much more about my personhood and “the stage I am” in life.

 

And since I was considering just one problem, I subconsciously slipped into considering the other big problems I have. Mainly centering around the things I cannot do or yet don't have currently in life. 

You know, the heavyweight problems that I wake up to face daily; the ones that are under my control; the problems that solely belong to me and thus are my responsibility.

artwork by Hokyoung Kim

 

Can you consider your top 5 problems for a sec? No, you don’t need to feel into them right now, I’m simply asking you to recognize them for the sake of identifying them. Are you able to put them into words? How would you describe your problems?

 

What would be the Top 5 recurring problems that consistently show up in your life? Give yourself a brief moment to consider them before you continue reading (it'll be worth it). 

 

1___________________

 

2___________________

 

3___________________

 

4___________________

 

5___________________

 

Great job. Thank you for the vulnerable honesty.

Now I invite you to undergo a little thought exercise with me. It involves those problems you came up with. 

 

But, friend, before you continue reading this email I have a confession to make.
 

In case you didn’t know this about me already:

That’s my confession.

 

And I'm revealing this now because the following Gentle Reminder includes one of those weird thoughts.

 

No, I’m not sharing it with you just to show off how weird my mind can be (😏), instead I’m sharing it with you for the sake of the lessons this weird thought might bring forward for you— yes, truth can also hide in weirdness.

 

So please be warned: this email is about to get weird.

artwork by James Fenner

As I considered my problems the other day, I had a weird thought:

 

 

Afterall, I have spent a big chunk of my life with them. They were often the first thing I would wake up thinking about. And very often, they were the reason that kept me up at night.

 

Now that I think about it… out of everyone that I’ve shared my time with on Earth, my problems have possibly received the majority of my time and attention. Wow. 

 

I’ve given my problems so much of my time, energy, money, sweat and tears.

 

I'm beginning to realize that my problems are the ones that know me better than anybody; almost as well as I know myself.

 

They understood my deepest fears and vulnerabilities. How could they not?! They were responsible for them 😔

Artwork by Jenna Anderson

 

 

Being some of the entities closest to you, do you think they would ask to speak in front of everyone? Can you imagine what they would possibly say? Do you think they would feel guilty for driving you mad? Do you think they would finally take the responsibility for all the suffering they caused you while you were alive?

 

Or, what if…

 

What if, instead, your problems showed up to your funeral, walked up to the podium to face those whose life you’ve touched the most, and say:

 

”Hi everyone.

 

We know that some of you may not recognize us and others may have only heard about us. To others, we may look rather familiar.

 

 

Yes, it’s really us.

 

But before you condemn us and ask us to leave, please hear us out.

 

We never meant any harm. Really.

 

Our job in your loved one’s life was never meant to bring forth pain and suffering. On the contrary, we only meant well. We really did.

 

We wanted the deceased to overcome us and, in doing so, we wanted to witness evolution happen before our very eyes. 

 

That’s really all we wanted to witness: evolution.

 

We wanted the deceased to evolve.

 

It’s really our only role here on the planet; to facilitate human evolution.

 

We’ve noticed that human beings tend to become higher versions of themselves when we appear.

 

And, if we are vulnerably honest with you, it’s the only way we find a sense of meaning and purpose in the grand scheme of things.

 

Since in the grand scheme of things everything has a purpose, we problems have figured out our own: we recognize that the thing that makes us feel most valuable and purposeful is to become active participants in human evolution. 

 

 

In the overcoming, you and us get to witness a higher version of you step forward.  

 

 

However, we feel our message may have been misunderstood. Yes, granted, we may have shown up with a little bit of fear (because we simply know how powerful of a driver fear can be for humans), but the fear we created was not meant to detract, stop or deter. Never. It was meant to inspire.

 

You see, fear gets often misunderstood as a block for creativity; a thing that keeps you from acting on something. But, in truth, fear was never a block…fear is an open door:

 

 

You see, with our presence we only meant for courage to come through; 

 

 

That’s really why we’re here.

That’s all we ever wanted.

 

We meant well, we really did.

 

If we ever made the deceased feel small or unworthy, 

we are deeply sorry.

 

We were only bearing the reminder they were much, much bigger than the role they've been playing this whole time.

 

That’s why we showed up. 

To remind them of that higher truth so they wouldn't forget it:

 

The truth that the deceased was always bigger than us. Always.

That you, too, are bigger than your own problems.

 

Do you understand now?"

artwork by hrmmmmmm

That was the weird thought I had the other day and I wanted to share with you. 

 

Maybe you found something helpful from it, as I did:

 

Recognizing that the problem may not be the problem but THE WAY I SEE the problem.

 

When I stop seeing problems as obstacles and instead as facilitators of personal evolution, my approach to life’s challenges is different. It’s no longer a block but an opportunity for courage to enter the room.

 

And if courage was in the room and fear was nowhere to be seen, what would courage say?

 

How would courage approach this problem?

 

In other words: if there was nothing to be afraid of, what would you do?

 

For me, that leaves a door open. A door where on the other side I get to creatively re-imagine how I want to show up in the world. I also get to re-imagine the things I am willing to devote myself to and the things I am willing to overcome.

 

Whenever I see my problems with this grace, no longer is life happening TO me, but it’s now happening FOR me.

 

I wonder how can this moment in your life be happening FOR you in ways you may not have given yourself the grace to acknowledge just yet.

 

Sending you lots of love.

 

And may your problems help you light the way home,

Jovanny

P.S. If this Gentle Reminder resonated with you, join the community!

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