Clarity by Tanmay

 

It's 1:40am Monday, hopped off from a call with a friend from US, had a crazy chat about the potential of Ai. And by the way today's issue is all about relationships with people - friends and yourself.

 

Before, let's address this finally the summer's here and it's been pretty damn fun.

 

This is the season of maximising whether that’s soaking in the sun, being more active, or saying yes to things that bring joy. And on that note, I’ve been lucky enough to chat with some amazing folks over Zoom calls, Google Meet, or in person. We’ll get to that in a bit, but trust me when I say this who you surround yourself with can either anchor you down or pull you up.

 

But first, a quick 

 

Made aamras and chapati for the first time

 

A year ago when I moved to Ireland, I had a small circle. As an introvert, that was enough. But over time, I started opening up. Made more friends. Said yes to more hangouts. More outings. And slowly… lost track of myself.

 

I got comfortable too comfortable, honestly. Working a 9-5, partying every weekend, spending recklessly. No discipline. No direction. Which reflected in Loan (increasing principal amount), Health (higher cholesterol, low vitamin D) and my own identity (Blurry).

 

Then came my birthday December 27.

Partied hard with the bois. Like, really hard (I don't remember few things during the night that hard okaay, won't share more). And that night, something happened.

 

I stood in front of the mirror, washing my face. And I saw myself. Not making this up. I saw three versions.

 

One, physically washing his face, semi-conscious and exhausted.

Two, staring back from the mirror, almost laughing.

And the third, somewhere above, silently observing both.

 

In that moment, the guy in the mirror asked, “Just look at yourself. Who even are you right now?”

And the guy at the sink? He had no answer. He just… cried.

 

That's when I realised well this isn't me, this changes now.

And from that day, I stopped drinking. No cravings. Complete identity shift to I don't drink (if asked by friends)

 

This is what it takes if you really want to change something internally, change the entire identity that exists.

I recently read a post from Ipsita Das, life coach. She wrote something like:

 

 

And she’s right.

 

If you’re stuck in bad habits, or feel like you’ve lost yourself do this.

Look into your own eyes. Ask: “Is this me? Do I like this version of me?”

You’ll know what to do next. Like I did.

 

Post that shift, I started curating my circle. From chaos to clarity, people have played a huge role. 

 

Like recently I saw that one of my friend was invited as a Chief Guest in IPL I felt soo happy for him. But at the same time went down the spiral of self doubt. I am human after all, sometimes these thoughts do get to me "Why am I this slow in growth, what am I even doing" But later that day I went to a friends place and went out for a walk along the beach and honestly it felt so good. Like I was energised.

 

That's the point. We need to handpick people who are energy providers rather than drainers. When I came back I reflected back well my journey is different and I can create a huge impact too. This was the napkin math which I did.

In a year, I will put out

+ 52 newsletters

+ 52 Youtube videos

+ 20*12 Reels/Shorts

= ~ 300

 

So, imagine the level of people I'll be reaching out to, because you never know, on the other end who is consuming the content. So I am increasing my odds and it's only matter of time I hit a homerun.

 

I was feeling a little lost with YouTube. Imposter syndrome had kicked in. Views weren’t where I wanted them to be. And I began questioning: Am I even doing this right? Should I continue?

 

But then I hopped on calls with fellow creators around the globe India, Australia. And those 1:1s reminded me I’m not alone in this. We exchanged ideas. Shared frameworks. Talked about growth. It was pure mental expansion.

 

Now imagine I didn’t have those people. Imagine I only shared these doubts with friends who don’t get this. They’d say: “Bro, this is too much. Just chill. Why are you overthinking?”

I get it they mean well. But their lens is not my lens.

 

That’s when I realised: I NEED people in my circle who are chasing what I am chasing. And at the same time actively seeking to get in rooms with individuals with 100x more leverage than me so I can learn through osmosis. Is equally imp.

 

That’s why I invest in communities. That’s why I pay for access to coaches, mentors, calls. And trust me, it pays back 10x. 

 

I don’t need a hundred people. I need a few right ones.

And to find them, I have to

Show up → Start conversations → Say yes to rooms that feel slightly out of reach → Ask for help → And most importantly be someone worth connecting with.

 

This one was raw. If any of this resonated, hit reply. Let’s talk.

See you next week where I will share some things about how to stay productive and get more done. And goodnight I am damn sleepy now!