Howdy First name / friend,

 

Nice to be back.

 

How did last week’s exercise go—did you discover any areas for improvement? 

 

Just a gentle reminder here: this is a process of improvement, not perfection. There’s nothing shameful or wrong if you noticed your language could use a little fine-tuning. We’re human, after all, and this isn’t knowledge we’re born with—it’s learned over time.

 

 

One of my big ah-ha moments came while studying NLP and being introduced to the Meta Model (first mentioned a few newsletters ago). I was amazed by how simply it identified unhelpful language patterns—and how small shifts could bring back clarity, choice, and personal empowerment.

 

 

Let’s explore a few patterns that might resonate:

 

Unhelpful Pattern: “I suffer with…”
This is a distortion. It implies the experience is fixed or unavoidable, removing the idea that there could be movement or choice.

 

Unhelpful Pattern: “They make me… (angry/sad/frustrated)”
This is a cause-and-effect distortion. It places control of your emotional state in someone else’s hands. Recovering your sense of agency supports more intentional reactions.

 

Unhelpful Pattern: “I am unhappy/sad/angry”
This is a deletion. It leaves out the contributing factors, which are often important to understand. Gaining clarity on what triggered the emotion can guide you back to your needs and boundaries.

 

Unhelpful Pattern: “He never listens to me”
This is a generalisation. Absolutes like "never" or "always" can intensify conflict and reduce opportunities for open communication. Softening language invites more productive conversation.

 

 

We all use distortions, deletions, and generalisations—it’s part of being human. While reflecting on them might feel uncomfortable, becoming aware is powerful. Once you notice the ruts in the road, you gain the choice to steer in a new direction.

 

 

If you're ready to take that pause and tune in, perhaps carve out a few minutes to listen to this month’s 6 Minute Moments on Identifying Patterns for a Shift in Perspective.

 

 

Join me next week as we bring it all together—learning to say what we mean and mean what we say.

 

 

Wishing you an introspective week ahead,
 

 

x Marisa