Death Readiness Dispatch

May 30, 2025

Hi there,

 

Some stories are funny. Some are hard. And every now and then, one lands in both categories at once. This one starts with my brother Dan, a dirt trail in New Jersey, and an unexpected question.

Dan asked me that question with total sincerity as we walked a wooded trail near our aunt’s house. It was the summer of 2001, and my mom had tasked me with breaking two pieces of news: our beloved black lab, Velvet, had died. And so had our Uncle Fred.

 

Dan has Down syndrome. He’s always felt deeply connected to everyone in our family. Velvet was a flunked-out guide dog with hip problems, cataracts, and a terrible habit of pooping in the middle of the road. She didn’t graduate guide dog school, but she was perfect for us. Uncle Fred? He was complicated. I didn’t know him well, but Dan cared about him a lot.

 

Dan took the news in stride. And then came the question:

It was funny. And heavy. And unforgettable.

 

When our mom died in 2012, I told Dan, “It’s going to be okay.” Now, as I talk with our dad about what comes next, I’m realizing the only way I’ll be able to say those words again with real confidence is if we do the hard stuff now. 

The planning. The conversations. The follow-through.

 

Losing sleep over this? Start with a free 15-minute consultation.

Leadership in Disguise

Most people don’t recognize caregiving as leadership. But how else would you describe managing schedules, budgets, crises, personalities, medications, logistics, and emotions, all under pressure?

 

In this week’s podcast, Jennifer O’Brien says it plainly: Caregiving is leadership. If you’re the family's crisis manager and emotional support hotline, this episode is for you.

Make This Summer One to Remember

Summer’s coming. Grandkids need projects. Grandparents want to connect. So here’s an idea: record a family podcast. You don’t need fancy equipment or technical skills—just some time, a few great questions, and the willingness to hit “record.” I’ve put together two free tools to help you get started:

Your family’s stories deserve more than a photo album. They deserve to be heard.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to begin.

 

Thanks for being here.

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