Hello First name / friend,

 

Welcome to this week’s newsletter. I’m so proud of you for being here, walking this path to greater self-awareness. July has so far seen us touch on the benefits of radical self-acceptance, the ‘three basic musts’ that cause emotional distress, and what our beliefs are around them. I hope you were able to benefit from the use of one (or both) of the reflection tools.

 

 

I’m wondering if anyone did the reflection exercises and found they came up with some areas to work on? 

 

 

Please allow me to be real here. We are not always going to like every aspect of ourselves all the time. That’s natural. That’s where the growth is. 

 

And the good news is; we can do things about it.

 

 

Today we bring gentle awareness to the things we have assessed as growth areas and sort them into one of two categories by asking the question:
 

 

 

A “yes” may mean there is a skill or knowledge gap, and that’s OK. 

 

Do you have an idea of the kind of person you want to be? 

 

If that’s a hard question, figure out what you do NOT want to be or do. From there, you can explore what the opposite of that is and all the variations on either side. 

 

What steps can you take this week that help build the skills you need to get there? Do that and repeat it until it feels normal.

 

 

When we answer "no" to ‘Is this a valid assessment?’ there might be some deeper emotional and worldview beliefs that would benefit from a reality check. 

 

 

Let’s check back in with Albert Ellis and his Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) model. He believes events don’t cause dysfunction—beliefs do.

 

 

Activating event – What happened?
 

Belief – What story did you tell yourself?
 

Consequence – How did you feel?

 

 

Our beliefs about the world and ourselves lead to emotional and behavioural consequences as a result of the negative or positive emotions and actions taken.

 

Negative beliefs often result in negative consequences.

 

 

GOOD NEWS – These beliefs can be disputed through logical examination and by questioning the validity of the ‘Three Basic Musts’ (yay – we’ve already taken that step!).

 

 

Now comes the reasoning:
 

A doesn’t equal C – It’s not the activating event but the beliefs that lead to consequences. Here, we recognise our role in shaping the emotional response.
 

B leads to C – Let’s examine the direct link between beliefs and consequences. Could altering beliefs change reactions into adaptive responses?
 

Adding in D – D is for Disputing – Where we challenge and change irrational beliefs to create a resilient and healthy mindset that can cope with life’s challenges and triumphs.

 

 

As humans, we are all prone to bouts of flawed or irrational thinking. It’s kind of one of our traits. But with this ABCD model, we have a solid path to identify and challenge the wayward beliefs and move into the sweet spot of RADICAL SELF ACCEPTANCE.

 

Next week, we take the trust fall into ultimate acceptance of ourselves, the full self in all shades and shapes.

 

 

Wishing you an enlightening week ahead,

 

 

x Marisa