Dear friend,
 

Once the service is over, once the chairs are packed away and the last bunch of flowers has wilted, you may be left wondering... what now?

 

This stage is quieter, but no less overwhelming. It is when the realness starts to land. It is when people stop checking in as often. And it is often when the admin begins.

So here is what to expect, and how to move through it without getting lost in the noise.

 

The official death certificate is issued by Births, Deaths and Marriages. It is different from the medical certificate or Coronial paperwork used for the funeral.

When it does arrive, make a few certified copies. You will need a qualified person to certify the copies, such as a lawyer or Justice of the Peace. Your funeral director might be a JP - I am - otherwise you can find a list online. Many libraries also offer JP services on certain days and times. These will be needed for the steps that follow.

 

Here is a starting list of places you may need to contact:

Some places require original documents. Some will accept certified copies. Keep a simple list of who you have contacted and what they have asked for.

 

Tip: Start with the essentials. Things like superannuation and banks usually have step-by-step guides for notifying them of a death.

 

If your person was cremated, the ashes will usually be ready within one to two weeks.

You may be asked:

There is no rush. You do not have to make a decision straight away. Many people choose to wait until a significant date or until the next step feels clear. You can find more guidance in my Journal post here.

 

This is normal. After the activity of planning and holding space for others, it can feel like your body finally lets go. You may sleep a lot. You may feel distant. You may cry over things that seem small. This is grief doing its quiet work.

 

You do not have to get back to “normal” right away.
You do not have to feel anything in a particular order.
You are allowed to just be.

 

If you need more support, reach out.
Whether it is grief counselling, financial guidance, or someone to help close accounts, there are people who can walk alongside you. You do not have to do it all alone. You may find some useful contacts in my support directory, which you can access by clicking here.

 

This is the final edition of No One Tells You This. Thank you for trusting me to walk beside you. You can access all of the editions here.

 

I hope you feel a little more prepared. A little more steady. And a little less alone.

 

And if you need me, I'm here. Just hit reply or give me a call - 0410 478 713.

Rachel Bracken is an Independent End-of-Life Educator, Funeral Director and Celebrant, based in Ballina and servicing the Northern Rivers of NSW. If you would like to get in touch please respond to this email, call 0410 478 713 or visit rachelbracken.com