I realized something recently. I’m a hypocrite.

 

I can't sit here and shout at all of you to be honest with yourselves about what you truly desire, what needs to go in your life once and for all, accepting the simplicity of what's right and front of you, and on and on, if I don't show you I'm willing to do it myself.

 

So, instead of yelling at you today, I’m going to be vulnerable about something I’ve learned.

 

Do I feel great about this? Absolutely not.

 

Yelling is fun. Vulnerability blows.

 

But I'm going to do it anyway with all of you. For science.

 

Over the past few years, I've worked hard to open my heart up in ways that run counter to my nature. As some of you long-time readers may recall, in an effort to keep myself emotionally and psychologically safe, I never allowed anyone in. For years, I made a lot of "safe" choices that resulted in me waking up one day in a life that didn't belong to me, looking in the mirror at someone who I didn't recognize. But she looked miserable. Scared.

 

Something had to change in a drastic way. So, that’s what I did.

 

Through this sometimes bloody process of breaking myself open and putting myself back together, there is one lesson I’ve learned over the past 26ish months that has stood out from all the rest:

 

 

Now, I’m going to guess that my list of “Super Secret Deep Desires” are not the same as yours. But I would wager a cool, crisp dollar bill that our mindsets around how we think about our unique desires are very similar:

If only that’s how it worked.

 

When what you want finally shows up and knocks on your door, it does so with the demand of absolute acceptance of what it is, exactly as it is. You get no say over its size, its shape, its form, its timeline, its breadth, its depth, its scale.

 

It may run completely counter to every belief you’ve had about your standards or preferred types.

 

It may upset you by inspiring you to want things you’ve always said or fundamentally believed you didn’t want. Things you’ve previously deemed undesirable or simply “not for you.”

 

It may offer you the true promise of complete safety in ways that feel deeply unsafe emotionally to embrace.

 

It may challenge you in ways that feel counter to your nature.

 

It may expose every part of you that you thought you’d hidden for years.

 

It may force you to confront parts of your past that you haven’t let go of.

 

Or it may simply see you wholly and fully, with no effort, and not flinch or look away from you, which can be terrifying all on its own. Why aren’t they looking away like everyone else?

 

So, here’s the moment of truth:

 

You say you want the big things. Love that burns clean through you. Answers you can actually use. Purpose that doesn’t just look good in a bio.

 

Are you ready for the reality of it?

 

Or do you just want to keep rehearsing the script in your head, where everything lines up, nobody gets hurt, and you don’t have to trade safety for the chance to feel something real?

 

What you want won’t show up on your terms. It doesn’t care how much you’ve prepared, or how tightly you’ve held on to your sense of control, or what timeline you had in mind. When it arrives, it demands your attention

And it will ask for something back.

 

 

 

 

Now, it's your move.

 

It feels like a final test of sorts. Do you really want what you say you want? Are you willing to loosen your grip on how it’s “supposed” to feel or look, or will you cling to the hollow version of it that doesn’t require you to take any risks?

 

In short, are you willing to be humbled by what you want? Are you willing to let it strip away your sense of control? Can you stand there, unguarded, and let it undo you in all the ways you never planned for?

 

Humility. Surrender. Giving up your grip on control. These are the only tools that actually bring what you want within reach.

 

 

 

 

 

Receiving what you want isn’t passive. It’s an act of courage, of trust, of letting it all in. Even the parts that challenge every story you’ve ever told yourself about what you deserve, what risks you’re willing to take, what’s possible, and what you’re allowed to have.

 

This sounds hard, but in reality, you’re exerting more effort to fight against these things than you would if you simply let it in.

 

All that bracing, overthinking, and holding yourself back? That’s what’s exhausting you, not the love, not the joy, not the possibility.

 

 

What if, just this once, you stopped fighting and let it find you?

 

Not everything has to be a war. You don't need to battle and scrape and tear your way toward every victory, every moment in the light. Let it be soft. Let it be simple. Let it be easy. Just this once, leave your door cracked open a bit, and let the love and joy and inspiration and passion and purpose you're begging for find you. And then don't turn it away when it shows up in a bigger, brighter, bolder form than you expected.

 

Remember, you asked for it. Don’t run when it finally answers.

 

Try it, just once. For science.