Hi there,

 

I remember my 12th birthday. My parents took me to a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden. I came home with a black cotton t-shirt that said NY Knicks across the front. But what I remember just as clearly is the knot in my stomach that day, lingering from something ugly I’d overheard at my 6th grade locker.

 

Sixth grade was when anxiety really took hold. My mom once said, “I don’t want you to look back on your life and realize you were never 12 years old.” She could see how much I was struggling. I wanted to

be carefree and present. But my brain chemistry had other plans.

 

Still, I was safe. I had Sandy and Velvet, two dogs who gave me comfort just by being close. I had parents who took me to basketball games. I had summers on the lake.

 

My mother, who was born just seven days before Emery Grosinger arrived in the United States, was part of a generation that got to grow up. I was, too. The most significant problem I faced at 12 was anxiety.

 

Emery Grosinger, the father of today’s podcast guest, Kari Alterman, spent his 12th birthday in Auschwitz. He survived the year that followed in a brutal, dehumanizing game of survival. And when the war finally ended and he made his way back to the town he’d been taken from, almost nothing remained.

 

Except the family dog.

 

This episode isn’t just about the Holocaust. It’s about what gets passed down. It’s about the stories we carry and the ones we choose to tell.

 

If we are lucky enough to have a choice in how and what we leave behind, we should take it.

And speaking of choices…

Thirty-one states have laws that restrict or override end-of-life decisions for pregnant women. In 26 of those states, pregnancy can automatically invalidate a woman’s advance directive.

 

The story of Adriana Smith raises hard, unresolved questions about autonomy, abortion laws, advance directives and what it means to be truly heard, even after you’re gone. 

 

It’s not light listening. But it is important. Because if you’re a woman in America today, or you love one, this story matters.

If your child couldn’t make decisions for themselves, would you know what they wanted? Could you prove it by clear and convincing evidence?

 

Nancy Cruzan and Terri Schiavo were two women in their twenties whose families had to fight landmark court battles regarding their medical care.

 

But it didn’t have to be that way.

Click here for your state’s healthcare advance directives and power of attorney documents.

 

Thank you to Susan from Missouri and Pam from Michigan for the thoughtful questions that inspired these Tuesday Triage episodes.

 

Have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Tuesday Triage?

Just reply to this email or click here to send it my way.

 

And as always, thanks for being here.

I’ve created a short survey to find out. If you have just 2 minutes to spare, I’d love your input!