— When You Feel Disappointed in the Church — |
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Dear friend, Mankind, he has told each of you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you:
to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God. - Micah 6:8 - |
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A few years ago I went through an extremely disappointing season with church. It felt like we were always serving, always showing up, all the while completely overextended with small children and a ministry of our own. Yet I looked around to see that 80 percent of the church body—who didn’t have small children or a parachurch ministry—weren’t willing to volunteer. Even on Sundays when we were out of town, not a single couple or person was willing to sub for us. My disappointment – and even anger -- felt overwhelming. Later on, as a speaker and teacher, I was disappointed by a megachurch pastor who told me that my verse-by-verse teaching wasn’t “conference appropriate” and that if I would change my methods, I could improve my speaking abilities. I was disappointed when another famous pastor called out my conference as an example of the “sin” of women teaching theology. I am disappointed when Christians on all ends of the theological spectrum misrepresent me, my work, my family, my goals, and my theology and was disappointed further when, during my miscarriages, my loss was weaponized and used against me. |
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I have countless reasons and instances to be disappointed both by the Church and by Christians. I’ve been let down many times. The emotions attached to this kind of betrayal are hard to process. I found myself not really aware of how deep these feelings went until weeks and months afterward. At times, I found myself angry enough to quit—why bother with the Church when people can be so insensitive, hurtful, and self-centric? If you’re in that place, here are a couple of things that helped me get to the other side. Be honest with God about your disappointment. God already knows. You don’t have to hide it. You can be specific and honest in your prayers to the Lord. You can bring Him the hurts and pains, the ways words cut deep and expose lies you believe about yourself. He is big enough to handle it! His kindness is here to carry you. God is on your side, for your healing and restoration. Now—this means He is also for your “enemy’s” healing and restoration, because God is big enough for both. And He will challenge you to forgive those who have trespassed against you. But honesty is the beginning. Don’t hide your hurts from God. |
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Recognize that God hates injustice and spiritual abuse more than anyone. Right now our team is working on a new Bible study for our November launch—Micah and Amos! These two minor prophet books focus on two main themes: justice and spiritual integrity. God specifically calls out the lack of mercy and spiritual compromise Israel has engaged in, calling them to repent before judgment comes. But they don’t. They continue to oppress the poor, seek their own welfare, and abuse the priesthood with compromised spiritual ethics. Here’s why these books are encouraging: they tell us that God hates the sins of His church more than anyone else! He calls it out. He condemns it. He judges it. And those who have hurt us will answer to Him. But this should also challenge us, because it means that we, too, will answer for how we have hurt others. Israel thought they were exempt from judgment. They thought God would judge everyone else but not them. They refused to acknowledge the ways they failed spiritually and because of this, were blindsided by God’s accountability. |
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When I think about the ways I’ve been disappointed, hurt, and spiritually abused (three levels of spiritual pain), I could end up in a very bitter place. The things that have been said to and about me, both publicly and in what people thought was private, have the power to completely demolish my confidence and call. But when I bring them to the Lord, I find the strength to forgive and continue on this path. I am also encouraged by the Lord to view myself realistically and acknowledge where I, too, have caused pain—and make it right. I have come to peace with the fact that, when I stand on the truth of Scripture and spiritual integrity - including in the decisions we make to protect the culture of our ministry and the work we do – people will misunderstand and misrepresent me. This is hurtful and disappointing, but peace comes through acceptance. God alone is my defense, and He is yours as well. You will be disappointed by the Church again. It is made up of flawed humans like yourself. God is your advocate and comforter through His Spirit, ready to help you heal—and through your healing, to heal others. Find resources to help you discern between dysfunction and abuse, and people to help the healing process. |
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Do you have your ticket to Verity yet?! |
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I'd love for you to join us online October 3–4 for Verity Conference—two days of focused, biblical teaching to equip you in theology and discernment. This is a great opportunity to grow in your faith right from home, and if you want to take it a step further, consider hosting a Verity Local gathering. Invite a few friends, open your Bible, and connect while you watch some amazing speakers talk theology. |
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Kim is BACK to emcee Verity Conference 2025 for the fourth year in a row – this time all online! We spent Friday recording together for the transitions between the speaker sessions, planning some awesome giveaways for our live audience and prepping for the October 3-4 simulcast! Be sure to grab your host ticket before September 1! |
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PO Box 453
Petoskey, MI 49770, USA |
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