Let me tell you a little story. 

 

In August of 2021, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. 

And a physical breakdown. 

And a life breakdown. 

 

(Okay. It wasn't “a bit”. Yeah, it was a lot. A lot of breakdown.)

Before you get worried, I am good now and, like many hard things, it created a great deal of value in my life in the long term. It is something that, as I sit here now, I am extremely grateful for, but at the time, really sucked. 

 

Without boring you too much, I went on a trip with some friends and I got sick. Really sick. And it lasted for a while. Acutely for a week- as in, can’t get out of bed, cancel a full week of work, going to doctor appointments- and then it lingered. 

There were more appointments and procedures and medications and eventually, and this took longer than it needed to given my line of work, a honest assessment of the state of my mental health.

In August of 2021, I had two, full-speed, high energy kids under 4. I had a new, busy private practice. And, like all of us, I was still emerging from the fog that was Covid and the myriad of ways that the pandemic had wreaked havoc on my life. 

 

On top of all that, I was doing very, very little to support myself in a way that was commiserate with that level of functioning. (Sound familiar?)

 

Donezo.

And, as it always does for me, it showed up in my body as a physical ailment because, I believe, that is what happens when you just choose to ignore all the more subtle warning signs that you are not okay. (I know, I SHOULD know better as a therapist. I can hear you yelling at the screen!)

Actual footage of me ignoring the more subtle warning signs I was not okay.

So alongside the western, medical route, I knew I needed to take a ruthless inventory of what I was doing (ie: NOT doing) to support my mental well being. 

 

So, I started therapy again. (Thank god for you Emily!)

I started talking to the people in my life about how I was feeling. (Spoiler alert: that is important.)

I finally gave in and started meditating. (Ugh. Don’t you hate when everyone is right about something like that?!)

 

And I started writing.

For 20 minutes.

Every morning. 

Remember Doug?! So good. 

Also, more on the value of a daily writing practice coming in a later newsletter.

And everything shifted. Not overnight and not all at once, but slowly, little by little, like filling up a bathtub with small cups of water, until I finally felt full again. 

 

Four years later, I feel like I need to take a pause and actually be grateful for this 2021 physical/mental/emotional breakdown. 

 

We have ways to commemorate the happy moments: the birthdays, the wedding anniversaries, the annual work milestones. But maybe we should have a way to celebrate and remember the hard moments, the dark days, the “I can’t get out of bed” weeks because, I think we could argue, those are actually the moments that really change us. And change us for the better.

 

Had it not been for that breakdown in August of 2021, I don’t know that I would be sitting here with my cup of coffee and my journal, writing this newsletter to you, having done my morning meditation, feeling content and solid in my life. 

 

Perhaps it is the inevitable struggles- and our response to those struggles- that really lay the foundation for the subsequent joy and gratitude. 

 

So, 

Okay. It maybe isn't that exactly. Maybe a quieter pat on the back vibe.

If you are going through it right now, in the midst of the “struggle sucks” part of the process, where you find yourself in the darkest part of the tunnel, unable to turn around and go back, but still far from seeing the light at the end, hang in there. My guess is, 4 years from now, this may even be something you could see yourself celebrating. 

 

But, remember: No one does this without help. (Myself included. See above.) 

 

If you need some extra support and are looking for concrete ways to create value out of your current challenges, I am offering my last Parent Course + Cohort of 2025 starting at the end of September. 

 

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