September 2025

This past weekend my eldest daughter and I attended an annual National Charity League Tea that our chapter holds every September. The keynote speaker (Christina Hergenrader) focused on the fragile relationship between mothers and daughters. Helping parents navigate the relationship they have with their teens is one of my true passions so I was all ears as the speaker asked us to turn to our daughters and listen as they shared one thing they want us to work on. 

 

My daughter immediately, without hesitation, said, “The questions. There are so many questions." This was not the least bit surprising for me as she often seems frustrated with me when I pepper questions at her about due dates and how she is going to get everything done. I recognize that her annoyed responses are actually her anxiety about finishing her homework in between practice and dinner and getting to bed on time. 

 

Anxiety in kids and teens doesn’t always look like worry or fear. Instead it can resemble opposition, irritability, procrastination, and avoidance. In my office, I often challenge parents to see the function of a child’s behavior – why is little Bobby so annoyed with you? Is it only because you’ve asked him 12 times if he is “working hard” on his science project? … Or could Bobby be completely overwhelmed, unsure about how to ask for help, juggling feelings of disappointing you and his teachers, and worried about whether he is going to be able to pull off even finishing the project? 

 

 

 

We have all been there. But when we take a step back and ask, “What’s really going on here?” we can shift from reacting to problem-solving.

 

I can admit that when I ask my daughter the same question (worded slightly differently) 12 times, I am being annoying and not being nearly as helpful as I intend to be. To be honest, a lot of the questions are really about my own anxiety getting the best of me and as it turns out, I am just adding to her pile.

 

Anxiety in kids and teens can be tricky because it wears disguises. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism and procrastination wrapped into one. Sometimes it shows up as physical symptoms (stomach aches before school, headaches before sports, heart racing before a presentation). And sometimes, it comes out as what looks like defiance.

 

In those moments, our job as parents isn’t to excuse the behavior, but to understand the “why” behind it. This doesn’t mean we let the backtalk slide. It means addressing the anxiety that’s fueling the behavior, not just punishing the surface-level sass. When we target the root cause, we help our kids understand that their feelings of overwhelm are okay, we validate their experience, and we can help them build real coping skills instead of just “getting through” the day.

 

Anxiety doesn’t always wave a big red flag. Sometimes it slips in under the radar, hiding behind behaviors we might label as laziness, defiance, or “just being a moody teen.” Some subtle signs to watch for include:

 

 

When anxiety shows up in disguise, here are a few ways you can respond differently — in ways that calm the moment and build skills for the future:

 

✨ Pause before reacting. Take a breath and remind yourself, This might be anxiety, not defiance. Slowing yourself down helps keep the situation from escalating and gives you a clearer view of what’s really happening.

 

✨ Name what you see — even if it’s coming out as anger. Try: “I can see you’re really frustrated right now. I wonder if there’s something about this that feels overwhelming.” This shifts the focus from conflict to curiosity and helps your child feel understood instead of criticized.

 

✨ Model coping with anxiety. Kids learn so much from how we handle our own stress. You might say: “I realize I keep asking you about this project because I’m feeling anxious myself about everything on our family’s to-do list tonight. Let’s break your project into smaller steps, and I’ll make my own list too.” Showing your own coping skills in real time teaches them what it looks like to acknowledge anxiety and move forward anyway.

 

✨ Problem-solve together. Instead of rescuing or lecturing, invite collaboration: “What’s one small step you could take next?” For older kids, you can also ask, “Do you want to try figuring this out on your own first, or brainstorm together?” This keeps them in the driver’s seat while still offering your support.

 

If you’ve ever wondered “Is this normal for their age?”, our free guide A Parent's Guide to Pediatric Anxiety at Every Age breaks down what’s typical and when to seek more support. From preschool through young adulthood, it covers signs, examples, and ways you can help in a quick, easy-to-read format.

 Anxiety may be sneaky, but connection is powerful. Every difficult moment is also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your child and model resilience. The more we stay curious, listen deeply, and support each other, the more our kids learn they can handle hard things. With the right tools and a connected approach, anxiety doesn’t have to run the show. And you don’t have to face it alone. 

 

 

If you’re navigating these tricky moments and want more tools, our team specializes in helping parents support their kids through anxiety, stress, and avoidance. This fall, we’re offering:

 

✔️ Parenting Group Therapy — This fall, we’re offering a new parent group using the SPACE model (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions). It’s designed to help you respond in ways that reduce anxiety, strengthen connection, and build confidence — for both you and your child.

 

✔️ 1:1 Parent Consults — Need more personalized guidance? Our team of psychologists offers individual sessions to help you feel more confident navigating parenthood.

 

✔️ 1:1 Individual Therapy Sessions directly with your child or teen – We offer telehealth all across Texas and in 42+ PsyPact States so wherever your young adult goes next, they can have easy access to an expert professional, who has been there - and who gets it. 

 

 

✦ What OCD really is (and what it is not)

✦ The most effective, evidence-based treatments

✦ How families and parents can best support loved ones in recovery

 

 

👉🏽 ✨ Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn to get the real scoop on OCD throughout Awareness Week. Together, we can replace myths with facts, fear with understanding, and stigma with support.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

⏰ Time: 8:00-11:00 AM

 

 

 

 

Welcome to our newest clinician, Bailey Grunder, Licensed Professional Counselor Associate! Bailey works with children, teens, and parents helping to support families navigate anxiety, low self-esteem, social skills deficits, emotional dysregulation, and family and school issues. Bailey loves helping families improve communication and children foster resilience. We are very excited for the kindness and compassion Bailey brings to our team and can't wait for you to meet her!

 

Bailey is supervised by Samantha Coy-Pham, LPC-S and is now accepting new clients! Schedule a free consultation or initial evaluation with Bailey HERE! 

Interested in Starting Treatment with us?

 

 

 

 

or Book an Appointment

 

 

 

🌟 Anxiety and Depression Association of America presents: What Parents Can Do to Help Their Children with Anxiety and School Refusal with Eli Lebowitz!

Dr. Eli Lebowitz is the creator of SPACE program (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions). He’ll show parents a new way to help kids who feel too anxious to go to school. Register today to learn how to:

 

🌟 The Great BFRB Get Together presented by Habit Aware
Date: September 27 & 28, 2025
Time: 11:30am ET - 5:30pm ET | Live on Zoom
The event is perfect for adults, parents, kids 12+ (especially the "Lightning Talks"), and Treatment Professionals 
Net Proceeds benefit BFRB related non-profits

 

 

🌟 Listen Now! New Podcast Episode | The Educated Parent ep23:

How to Parent Well After Arguing in Front of Kids with Dr. Laura Spiller - Listen to learn what to say, when to say it, and how to parent well even after arguing in front of kids.

Houston Anxiety & Wellness Center
832-205-8120  |  Info@HoustonAnxiety.com

 

Seeing this via forward? Your circle has great taste. 🩷