Have you ever scrolled by someone’s shiny LinkedIn update — new role, big client, cool opportunity — and wondered:

 

 

To be honest — meeeeee too.

 

I’ve had that thought a thousand times. Not out of jealousy — love those wins for others! – but out of curiosity. Out of hope. Like a tug in my chest, some part of me asking, Could something like that be possible for me?

 

That’s why I want to tell you the truth behind my recent win: which is a really full fall conference speaking calendar. Because I remember scrolling on LinkedIn, years ago, seeing posts about where others were speaking, and thinking, How do I get things like that on my calendar? 

 

 

 

What actually worked was — leaving my house. Going to networking events where I knew no one. ("Hi, my name is Awkward.") Teaching free workshops for an audience of three people. (Three was a win, actually. Two is hard. One is brutal! Zero leads to questioning your life choices.😅)

 

It's that behind-the-scenes stuff — the things that don't rank for a LinkedIn post — that leads to the big stuff. It's the nights and nights and nights that then lead to that mythical “overnight success.” 

 

And what's mattered most to my progress — what's mattered more than any other kind of work or effort — has been that long, slow, quiet work of building relationships.

 

 

This past spring, someone I met at one of those early networking events reached out on LinkedIn. She said that after we'd met all those years ago, she’d followed my work on LinkedIn. Now, her team wants a professional development session on confidence — and she'd thought of me.

 

Fast forward, and I’m booked to work with her team this October.

 

 

 

 

 

This is something I harp on with my students. 🙋‍♀️ I tell them — applying to jobs online is just one strategy. But if you’re spending all your time applying (and none of your time meeting people), then you’re missing out on the best-kept secret in professional growth.

 

Maybe most importantly, though — it’s not just about what I’ve received through relationships. I do my best to pay it forward, too. I love connecting people to opportunities, booking services from people I know, hiring speakers and designers and coaches I’ve met along the way.

 

Because transformational relationships aren’t transactional.

 

So if you’re wondering how to build up to more wins — maybe start by showing up. Start by meeting people. Start by being someone who lifts others up.

 

Summer officially gives way to autumn tomorrow (even though it is still quite warm here in NC). The beginning of a new season reminds us that change is always happening, and the plans we make in one season can take time to become reality.

 

Recently, I spent an afternoon in my aunt’s garden, gathering seeds to take home. While harvesting those seeds, I thought about all the care that went into tending her garden: preparing the soil, planting, watering, weeding, and pruning. Not everything that was planted back in the spring survived the summer heat, but unexpected volunteer plants more than filled in the gaps.

 

 

Tending a garden is a great analogy for networking — creating meaningful connections can feel a lot like sowing seeds. Not every connection will bloom, but cultivating relationships can result in a bountiful harvest.

 

This is a lesson I also carry into the classroom. As a teacher, my goal is to plant some seeds of ideas with my students. I don’t always get to see the harvest, but I have to trust that the ideas we’ve shared will take root and grow.

Way to take 3 minutes for a pause. You rock!