— Olivera's Birth Story—

Dear friend,

 

 

- 1 Samuel 1:27-28 -

 

A few weeks ago, on September 9th, our long awaited miracle baby joined us earthside. Now that we're a few weeks into life as a family of six, I can sit and type up her story for you. She's nestled in Josh's arms on the sofa at the moment, surrounded by adoring siblings for a “Mulan” movie night. I'm sneaking away to recount God's faithfulness (once again!) in Olivera's story. 

 

*Note: All of my babies have been born via natural/unmedicated births at home with licensed home birth midwives; this story describes my fourth home birth.

 

My pregnancy with Vera was not an easy one. Truthfully it was the hardest one I remember, and at the end I was battling high-ish blood pressure, massively swollen feet, and a bad case of SPD (iykyk). We were carefully watching for any signs of preeclampsia (I didn't have it but if I did, it's an automatic hospital transfer – for good reason!). By 39 weeks I felt like I couldn't possibly stay pregnant much longer. Add to this a case of on-and-off contractions for more than a week, I felt constantly on edge. 

 

Much of this worry was due to finishing up some major tasks before maternity leave – starting homeschool co-op, orientation for the co-op, planning the homeschool year, writing these emails for the entirety of my time away, proofing documents and studies for our fall Every Woman a Theologian shop, and our older kids' joint birthday party in early September (they are all born in fall). I wanted to finish up these tasks but also felt like I baby's arrival was imminent and the tension caused some anxiety.

 

When I was pregnant with Eva, I had prodromal labor for almost six weeks (on and off contractions). Thankfully prodromal labor was nowhere near as long-lasting as with Eva, but I was still on high alert and my ever-patient midwife was constantly receiving texts about it. My contraction timer showed I'd had almost 200 contractions the week before I actually went into labor! 

 

On Monday the 8th, I went to co-op with the kids in the morning feeling very tired. When I brought them home at noon I immediately went to bed, but didn't sleep – I tried to get some work done (something I regret looking back). Contractions started and were quite uncomfortable, but they were far apart – and after a week and a half of this nonsense I wasn't taking them very seriously. But over the course of the day they continued… into evening, when I walked, when I took a bath. I texted my midwife and around ten 0'clock two of the midwife team came to check me. Despite the fact my contractions were regular when walking, it looked like I wasn't progressing from where I'd been two weeks before! From what they felt, baby's head was forward of the cervix; she wasn't putting enough pressure on it to keep labor regular. Instead she was resting in front of it, on the front of my pelvis. They advised me to try to rest and sleep and let them know if anything changed. 

 

By now it was almost midnight. Josh had stayed up with me, but he along with two of our older children were all sick (another addition to my anxiety). My mom – who had kindly offered to watch Eva and Ivan – was also extremely sick with some kind of flu. All of this was running through my mind as I lay on the couch counting contractions. Josh asked to go to bed since it was after midnight and he felt miserable; I stayed downstairs doing the Miles Circuit and bouncing on a birth ball (can you tell I was desperate?).

 

Contractions were getting closer together, not further apart – they were now to 5-6 minutes. But it was after midnight and I felt so embarrassed to call the midwives again. I went to one of my favorite sites - Spinning Babies - and looked up what I could do to help move a baby to the right position. I found the abdominal lift and tuck. I did this for about seven contractions, and by the last one I knew I had to contact my midwife again. The contractions were truly intense, almost painful, and not stopping! I called my midwife and she and her team made their way to the house.

 

The rest of the birth is mostly a blur. When I thought nothing was happening, I'd lit candles, set out my Bible to read, and turned on worship music. My bible was open to Psalm 46, which says:

 

 

These words became an anchor as labor progressed. I was deeply tired, desperately wanted to sleep, but contractions were coming too hard and fast for that to be possible. 

 

Everyone arrived between 1 am and 2 am. My amazing friend and fellow homeschool mama Leah, a trained doula, was an incredible support during my labor while Josh set up the birthing pool – she helped me through my contractions and my tears and prayed over me as I tried to breathe. She then traded with Josh, who supported me as we got closer and closer to baby's arrival. At this point I was exhausted. I don't remember being this tired with any of my other three births. And because I had in my head that I hadn't “progressed” (the initial evaluation, obviously not the case!) I also had in my head that I was headed for twelve hours of labor ahead of me. Mentally, I was struggling. It was like my body was speeding ahead of my mind, but my body was also too tired for what was being asked of it – if that makes sense? 

 

Toward 4 am I was sitting on my ball holding Josh's hands when I felt like I needed to push. They moved me to the pool, and a few contractions in I felt the “pop” of waters breaking followed by baby's head. With some help from the midwife team, another push birthed her shoulders and body – Olivera Hope entered the world! 

 

Active labor was three hours (from 1 am, probably more like 4-5 hours total) and 4 minutes of pushing. A huge thank you goes out to my amazing team at Three Cords Midwifery, especially Kendra, the head midwife. She was always careful to support me and baby and kept a careful eye on this entire pregnancy for maximum safety for Vera and me. I am so grateful <3

One of the most special moments is pictured above. Adeline had planned to attend the birth if it was in the daytime. When labor started in the middle of the night, Josh and I decided not to wake her – especially because at one point during labor my blood pressure was rising and there was talk of transferring to the hospital. Thankfully that was not necessary, since my blood pressure went back down. But we still didn't wake her up. But at 3:45 am she woke up completely on her own and came downstairs to watch her sister be born! This photo is so special, capturing the moment she saw her baby sister for the first time. 

 

What stands out most to me from Olivera's birth aligns with what I've learned from our entire journey to having her at all: My complete dependence on the Lord. In past births, I felt strong. This time I was at the end of myself. I'd been awake almost 24 hours. I did not have a pain-free birth; it was very hard. During the pushing stage all I could say, over and over, was “please pray for me”. I truly felt like I couldn't do it without God's help. And perhaps that's what is so beautiful about Vera's story: We could not conceive her without the Lord. I could not carry her without the Lord. I could not birth her without the Lord. And we cannot raise her without the Lord. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) God's grace – His favor – is sufficient to carry us where our human strength can go no further.

 

But what cemented this for me was something my friend Amy Gannett said after Vera was born. When I shared this birth story with her via private message, Amy told me she'd woken up at 2 am that morning unable to sleep. She went to her Bible study spot to pray and felt led to pray for me. She prayed from 2 am to 4:15 am, when she felt released to go back to sleep. Vera was born at 4:06 am and struggled to breathe freely for ten minutes. As I cried out for someone to pray for me, Amy was praying – without knowing I was in labor. Without knowing Vera needed to clear her lungs. 

 

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”  (Romans 8:26-27)

 

From the beginning of her life to her birth, this sweet girl has been prayed over: not just by us, but by you. You have carried her to the throne of grace and for that, I can never thank you enough. Through her story I have witnessed the women of God operate in their giftings of intercession and prophecy, discernment and service, hospitality and more. The Church has carried us in spirit and truth through a painful season and has prayed for this child before she was born. I don't know what God has for her life. But we will do our very best to raise her in His love and truth, knowing that before she was ours, she was His. 

 

Thank you, thank you, for praying with us for her life. 

 

For the Awakening, 

PM

 

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