I have had many people tell me how the anger and hate in the world is really dragging them down and they find themselves being caught up in the anger and this causing additional fear, depression, anxiety and physical, spiritual and emotional exhaustion.

 

But I will tell you honestly when I look at people and how they are reacting it isn't out of hate or anger it is pure unadulterated fear being masked to look like other things.

 

According to Terri Kozlowski, Soul Coach there are four types of fear:

 

This fear is like a natural alarm that alerts us of potential danger.  But the ego, which controls this system, can also trigger false alarms.  These false alarms feel real to us and cause us to react as though they were life threatening.  We need to understand that most of us in our daily lives don’t experience deadly situations for which the ego is trying to protect us from.

 

We need to build tolerance, like a muscle, to most of those areas that the ego feels we should avoid like feeling uncomfortable.  For example, at some point we are all fearful of speaking in public, not because it is dangerous, but because we don’t want to be embarrassed.  Feeling self-conscious is not lethal, and like exercise to build a muscle, the more we speak in public the less anxious we feel.

 

A quick and easy natural way that we can calm this fear is by stopping and taking three deep breathes.  When you take in a breath, slowly counting to five and then exhaling to another count of five you can watch your anxiety slowly dissolve.  Doing this three times in a row has been shown in studies to dramatically calm the mind.  Try it; the only thing you have to lose is your fear.

 

 

This fear can be seen in strong, self-assured people who are fearful that something could be taken away from them whether it is their liberty, an idea or uncertainty.  Anger is not usually associated as a type of fear as it is the part that causes us to fight.  Rage can make us take action.  It can help us to feel fearless which a false sensation of a self-defense mechanism.

 

Anger is fear turned inward.  We are afraid of what is inside of us.    We are fearful of our own feelings.  We are scared to be afraid.  Anger is the release of all these fears.  It allows us a false sense of control over how we are really feeling because anger is the loss of control. This loss of control means that the ego is leading the charge and plans some sort of action.

 

Count to ten before releasing your anger has been a great tool to help keep rage at bay.  We also need to look at what triggers our wrath.  By becoming aware of the causes of our anger we can learn to change our reactions.  We can look for solutions, deflect with humor, and of course use the breathing technique above to calm the mind.

 

 

Past behavior is a good indication for future behavior is a statement that can be used to help us determine expectations.  But the past doesn’t need to be repeated.  We can grow and so do others; therefore the past shouldn’t dictate the future.  But our fears allow it to do so.

 

Depression causes us to stay in the past.  It sounds pointless to be afraid of the past but the ego keeps us living there and we are unable to move forward.  This fear keeps us from enjoying the present moment.  But when we actually examine our lives we can see that through learning and become aware we have proven that our fears are unfounded.

 

We have all seen others react differently to the same incident, which is proof that future behavior can be different than past behavior.  We are all unique and therefore how we react to any given situation will be unique.  Therefore our fear is unfounded and should be let go.

We need to stop expecting the worse to happen. Each day we are given a new chance to make things better and not a repeat of yesterday’s woes.  Don’t live a life a self-fulfilling prophecy of negativity.  You can choose to see it differently. We can re-write the story we tell ourselves.  

 

 

We are all afraid of making the wrong decision, therefore we take our time and deliberate to determine the best choice based on the current information we have.  Still, there are times that what we choose to do did not work out as we expected.  Was it a wrong choice, not necessarily?

 

If we learn from the times that things didn’t work out, then we have an opportunity for growth which means the choice wasn’t wrong.  There are consequences for all our actions and decisions, but if we can learn from our mistakes and missteps then we have gained in the long run.  

 

When we allow fear to interfere with our decision making we tend to choose to do nothing, which is still a decision.  This keeps us from our dreams.  If we are only concerned about maintaining we can never move forward.  So, when we are faced with a decision we need to ask ourselves, what is the worst thing that could happen?  Most of the time if we can live with that outcome we can decide to move forward.

 

When we ask, what the worst case scenario is, we are choosing to live life to its full potential.  We have surpassed the mediocrity of just getting by and take enthusiastic steps to making the life we desire.

 

So, how do we navigate in a world full of fear? I choose not to give into my fear and when fear creeps in I pause and look at what it is - usually it is an unrealistic fear. I work on not reacting to world around me, but rather be proactive to the world around me. What do I mean - I will not be confrontational unless given no choice. Instead I remain calm and remind myself this person is just projecting their fears onto me, it is not personal.

 

I allow people to vent or as some call it “go off” and when they finish I calmly ask them what are you so afraid of? Most people look at me strangely and walk away, but I like to think that I just planted a seed for just asking that question may cause them to pause and think about it.

 

In a world that is spiraling in fear and disguising itself as anger it is important to me that I do not add to that energy but work on defusing it. I do this by surrounding everyone who I see struggling in love and light. I will also smile and say hello to people walking past me on the street - you would be amazed by the reaction I get from doing that. Sadly even had an elderly gentlemen stopped and said “wow no one does that anymore, thank you.” 

 

We can change the world simply by intention. What world do you want to live in? Envision that and begin creating it one person at a time by showing kindness and by being proactive and less reactive. When I find myself becoming reactive I simply take a step back and take a few deep breaths and ask the other side to help me turn the situation into a healing moment for both of us. For if I react to someone else reaction I am only fueling their fire and I refuse to do that.

 

Remember you have the right to walk away from confrontations without an explanation. If you feel reactive just walk away for reacting as I just said only fuels the fire and that is what they want - they want to be able to say “see you proved me right.” Really see the person and what is truly going on and ask “what are you afraid of?”

 

May we all take time to question our fears and not allow our egos to grow that fear and make  us reactive. Take a breath and pause before responding, make it a teachable moment rather than an argumentative one. May we all walk in light and love and begin reteaching people what humanity really is!

 

 

 

If you have additional questions about Spiritual Counseling/Guidance and if it is for you, please feel free to contact me via e-mail at spiritualpathwaysnh@gmail.com.

 

Namaste,

 

Pat Laurino

Intuitive Energy Healer/Spiritual Psychic/Medium

 

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