OOHEEE! How uncomfortable are you feeling? Physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically?
Are you feeling pushed against your edges? Like you know you are repeating patterns, you can feel something just beyond reach- it’s like you are sitting in this comfort zone and yet, you can’t quite move beyond it. Hello shadow, my old friend.
It could feel like a veil, a cage- holding you still; you feel held back from doing the things that you know you need to do to break through to the other side.
Your soul, God, is calling you. Challenging you to show up for YOU. To do the things you know you NEED to do, you WANT to do, you DESIRE to do; despite how you feel. Despite the fear;
even when you are deeply uncomfortable and the adrenaline is pouring through you.
Because you know there is also an undercurrent that feels electrifying and exciting. And just beyond this edge is GOLD- its alchemy, its deep transformation. And all you need to do is be WILLING.
Does it mean you won’t ever feel fear, discomfort or meet your edge again? NOPE. The belief that fear ever goes away is false. We do find greater strength and courage to keep going and maybe it becomes a little easier as we expand our capacity AND we get to experience MORE- joy, abundance, love. But it's through allowing ourselves to feel the heavy emotions.
Personally, I am really being pushed against my edge. A new layer of not feeling safe in body has been exposed- it’s ancestral, from a past life. I can feel it, where it is holding on and how deeply it has been impacting how I show up in my business. It’s a karmic complex and it’s so ready to integrate and heal. The frustrating part is that my energy isn’t strong enough to do the full healing because of all the things I’m experiencing right now that are outside of my control. I’ve had to lean deeply into surrender; AND I choose to show up everyday despite it. To keep going even when I feel defeated and exhausted.
I know how close to the surface it is right now- I feel my soul, God cheering me on, AND yet, I have been so hard on myself. My mind feels like this should be a piece of cake to transmute- like why is it taking sooooo long. It is frustrating. I want to move forward. I want to release the hold. In some ways it is that simple, but it's also not depending on what it is that you are moving through. Healing is non-linear, it's a spiral- and it can't be rushed.
God keeps asking me to have mercy and compassion for myself. It's interesting because I often think I do but I was shown a deep subconscious pattern of being hard on myself, beating myself up and blaming myself for things that have gone wrong instead of understanding I did the best I could with what I had access to at any point in my life.
Raise your hand fellow perfectionists 🙋🏻♀️
Side note, I recently bought a tour sweatshirt from Trevor Hall's online store that says ‘You Can’t Rush Your Healing,' what a beautiful reminder that I get to wear. It's purple (my favorite color) & even has a cool butterfly on the front.
The truth is, I never learned how to feel safe in my body. I never learned to trust what I was feeling or to feel my emotions. I did a lot of work over the years to be in my body, to feel emotions, to even name what I was feeling- but I have been shown in times of extreme emotional stress my body forgets how to feel safe.
In meditation, I was shown just how mean I was to myself at a specific time in my life- it was a full circle moment and I cried. I grieved, I apologized, and I forgave myself. I promised that I will not carry this forward and I will learn how to expand my capacity to feel safety within.
- Do you feel safe in your body?
- Do you feel safe to feel your emotions?
- Do you trust what you feel?
- Are you hard on yourself when things are challenging?
- Where/how can you show yourself mercy and compassion?
- Where/how can you show others mercy and compassion?
BTW: I've created something special to find safety within that I'll be sharing very soon, I promise. Can't wait? Respond to this email to learn more and for early access pricing.
