Did you miss my e-news last week? Unfortunately, I physically did not have it in me to write. Are there times you physically or mentally just do not have it in you to do certain tasks, but you feel guilty and beat yourself up for not doing them? I think we all do, but it is important to know it's ok to stop. It's ok to take a break and take care of yourself.

 

I always hated the saying “When life gives you lemons make lemonade” for to me this is saying no matter what you are going through push it aside and keep going as if all is fine. Well yes sometimes we can and have to keep going and push past whatever is happening in our lives, but other times we need to be ok with saying “sorry I just can't today.”

 

As most of you know I am dealing with some health issues, basically my spine is crippling me and there is not much they can do medically except pain management. I have had to do a lot of acceptance and a LOT of research. Of course I have and will continue to try natural treatments and remedies for pain (I do not do well on narcotics), but even that route is getting smaller and smaller. 

 

I find myself getting angry with the Universe for I have felt let down and unsupported after I have tried to follow my soul's path to the best of my ability. When asking the Universe why I must experience this pain and slowly lose the use of my legs I get one response “your reward is not of this world.” Now even though I know that and get it and I also understand for whatever reason my soul chose to experience this I still get angry.

 

Do you have times when you get angry at God, Universe or whatever you believe in, or loved ones that have passed? Do you feel guilty about that? If so my question is why? Anger, fear, frustration is all part of being human and it is ok. Trust me God/Universe and our loved ones can handle it, you are not hurting them by expressing your emotions. It's ok.

 

I know that the Universe and Spirit support me, I have no doubt about it, but life can get hard and it can get scary so it's ok when we need to express those deep feelings, you should never feel guilty about it. 

 

But it is also important how we express it. For example it is ok for me to yell at God and my loved ones that have passed on, but it is not ok for me to take my emotions out on other people, it is no ones fault but my own for what I am going through and I accept accountability for what has happened in my life and what is happening to my body.

 

I am human and I am going to have bad moments and I will allow myself to have those moments without guilt or self punishment. It's ok to feel whatever you are feeling, especially when struggling with loss, health, or emotional issues - it's ok.

 

This past Monday was so bad I could not walk without using a walker and the pain more intense than I have had in quite awhile. I cried, I yelled, I had a full on temper tantrum (no I am not proud to admit that, but I did.) I felt like God was punishing me and I was angry. But then I calmed down and realized no I am not being punished, the Universe/God does not punish, but I am experiencing something I chose to so that I can better understand people who live with intense pain and even have a better understanding why people take their own lives (no I would never, but I do get it.) 

 

I believe I am being prepared for an even greater roll in the afterlife and for this roll I will be taking on I need to experience as much as I am able to even the hard stuff. But knowing this doesn't always make it easier and I have to remind myself it is ok to have bad moments, it's ok to express my fears, frustrations and anger, it's ok to yell at God/Universe and loved ones who have passed - it's ok to be human!

 

Also, dealing with this pain and disability I am gaining greater empathy for those who have lived this way for years. An understanding and empathy I lacked for I truly did not understand what they are going through, until now.  I am also gaining a better understanding of the frustration those who do live with chronic pain have with well-intention friends and family members who keep making suggestions for them to try. I get lots of suggestions and recommendations, most of which I have tried. But I get that loved ones are feeling just as powerless as I am with dealing with the pain and they want to help. But I will admit what helps more than “have you tried ….” is when people simply say “I am sorry you are going through this.”  And having people stop by to visit and have a conversation. 

 

I am not ready to throw in the towel and will continue to do my souls work as I am able to, but I am learning to treat myself with more kindness and patience and acceptance then I ever have before. I am learning to accept my new limitations and how to navigate life with these new limitations. It's ok to admit you can't be as independent as you once were and it's ok to feel afraid. It is not ok to take out your frustrations on yourself or anyone else, but we do because we are human. Acknowledge it, accept it and make amends where needed.

 

I am learning that making lemonade does not necessarily mean things will be better, for me it means acceptance and learning to live within your new boundaries. May we all show kindness to all for you truly do not know what they are having to make lemonade out of.

 

May we all find the blessings within suffering, I know I slowly am.

 

 

 

If you have additional questions about Spiritual Counseling/Guidance and if it is for you, please feel free to contact me via e-mail at spiritualpathwaysnh@gmail.com.

 

Namaste,

 

Pat Laurino

Intuitive Energy Healer/Spiritual Psychic/Medium

 

The above list is only a portion of the providers we are blessed to have. So, if you feel frustrated with traditional medicine maybe try one of the above practitioners, who knows it may just change your life and aren't you worth that?