Do you find it hard to connect or ‘be with' you First name / my love?

 

 

In my latest podcast episode I talk in a lot more depth about this, for those who desire a little more… and if you're ready, let's take a few minutes to dive into why that might be…

 

From birth (and maybe even before) you are building up your sense of self and actually your attachment style is one of the first things you might use to understand how your caregivers and environment may have influenced your relationship to you. 

 

If you have an insecure attachment, you very likely have a sense of not feeling enough (or more); if you couldn't trust your caregivers to meet your physiological or love and belonging needs, you may internalise that the ‘why’ of that is down to you.

 

Children have no filter, and only know their version of the truth in their earliest years… so if you experienced ‘being’ the realest, rawest you and in return were continuously dismissed, ignored, misunderstood, told you were bad, left for long periods of time, rejected or told ‘no’ or even physically abused. 

 

You may lose connection and trust with your inner voice that created your outer voice, and your mind will create a different version of you to stay safe… to name a few:

 

 

The protectors in your psyche will do anything that deflects away from the vulnerable part of you, and creates a level of safety. 

 

From this place you lose connection to the calm, confident self within, and you don't trust that inner voice… you become avoidant to yourself and navigate life based on what others think of you. 

 

Which means your life is literally in the hands of others…which is where you may find that lack of fulfilment, contentment and… self love. 

 

The great news is, that reparenting your inner child to feel secure is a thing. And it works!

 

I've done it myself (and continue to) and my clients have experienced this too. 

 

And it starts by creating a space where self connection starts to feel possible, and eventually safe. 

 

Maybe it starts with the journaling prompts below… and just stepping a little closer to you. 

 

 

 

Find some time to pause; to turn inwards and bring your own gaze to you.

 

Take a few deep breaths, and grab your pen and paper/journal…

 

When you complete this process, it's important to acknowledge yourself for showing up. No fix required, just learning a bit more about what's going on within. 

 

If you would like more support, you can be part of my new community ‘self love unlocked’ launches in November and you will here all about that next week! It offers a place to grown self connection, trust and help you start to believe in yourself and create your inner ‘enoughness’. 

 

 

Please remember this First name / my love ; you are already enough… so don't forget to go show yourself some love today. 

 

Elaine Denton 

Prof. Psych. Dip MNCPS (Acc.)