At least in the eyes of people like my dadās mom (may she RIP).
Ā
See, the thing is, Iām not like āthe traditional wifeā. I was raised in a matriarch home (which has its own set of issues), but also raised in a single parent household since I was 14.
Ā
My mom was the head of household my whole life and not once did I ever see her serve my dads plate lol
Ā
So when I moved in with my then-boyfriend, it was definitely a shift from what I grew up seeing.
Ā
So when my husband and I were talking about potentially living together years ago, I warned him: I donāt wash dishes.
Ā
Iāll do literally any other chore, but I simply cannot with dishes. I have 0 interest in soaking my hands in water and scrubbing old food. Iāll literally gagāand I canāt even explain why (childhood trauma, probably).
Ā
But while there are several things I ādonāt doā, we have a routine. Our own system that works for us.
Ā
My husband is also the one that does the majority of the cooking, I set up our plates.
Ā
I also recently started āmaking my husband lunchā for work after living with him for 7 years lol
Ā
And this is what my sister teases me about the most. Cuz his lunch menu literally consists of:
cesar salad wrap made with frozen chicken tendies from Costco
ham and cheese sandwich
peanut butter and jelly sandwich
or chicken, rice and beans burrito if we had leftovers from our dinner
Ā
Iāll pair it with whatever snack we have at home (goldfish, chips, or cookies) and a protein bar to keep him nice and full.
Ā
Thatās it.
Ā
And as simple as they may seem, it has everything to do with his blue collar job and how to make his lunch enjoyable when there isnāt a microwave for a hot meal, or not have to spend $15-$20 on takeout every day.
Ā
But alsoā¦that man is so fucking picky.
Ā
And, like me, eats like if he were a 12-year-old.
Ā
I have girl dinners, he has boy lunches.
Ā
So yeah, heās not eating a hot meal from the casserole I cooked from scratch with the pig he hunted and crops he grew.
Ā
And as much as my sister teases me about being a bad wife (sarcastically),
he fucking loves his simple ass boy lunches, and I love making them for him. If it were up to him, he'd rather go with Lunchables, anyday.
Ā
I especially love how easy it is for me to do that for him, because I don't know that I could ever be the wife that wakes up at 3:30am to make that man his lunch.
Ā
Cuz yeah, the reality is, he wakes up at 3:30 am to leave for work at 4am, and he sees no reason for my ass to be awake at the ass crack of dawn too.
So, no, I donāt cook, I donāt wash/fold his clothes, I make him basic lunches, and I for sure donāt wash dishes.
Ā
I might sound like a terrible wife to some people.
Ā
And if I adapted to what some people think itās supposed to be like, weād both be miserable and it would never work for us.
Ā
Weāve got our own routines that fit us.
Ā
And weāre doing pretty fucking dandy if you ask me.
Ā
Ā
Your productivity hours are nobody else's business
Youāre not a bad entrepreneur just because your business structure and āsuccessā doesnāt look like everyone elseās.
Ā
Whether your launch flopped or sold out, or whether you start your day at 5am or 11amāeveryoneās workday looks different.
Ā
Youāll never catch me trying to be a 5am girlie, Iāll tell you that much.
Not because Iām not a morning person. Iāve tried it, several times.
Ā
I gave it another shot after leaving my 9-5 and becoming a service provider, but it was still a big fat no for me.
Ā
So before you go beating yourself up over your business looking different or focusing on what you dont have, take a look at what you do have.
Ā
Iām currently working on my about page, I technically donāt have an official services page, and I also donāt have a portfolio page. If I didnāt move forward because of those things Iām missing, I would have never been able to get booked, or sell my templates.
Ā
Because one thing I do have is my work in images in a google drive, my messaging and brand positioning, and never shutting the fuck up about my offers on Threads.
Ā
So while none of these things alone are magic, itās the mix of tools, timing, and self-awareness that moves the needle.
Ā
We all work differently. And because of that, the things that keep us moving will look different too.
Ā
Here are a few things Iāve tried and learned to tweak to work for my neurodivergent, night-owl, systems-loving ass:
Ā
1. Making a task list of things I wanna do/have to do and then categorize by priority, then put them in my calendar
This might not mean Iām getting everything done, but having a visual list of things that need to get done make it easier on my brain where I can actually see things get crossed off the list (plus its satisfying as fuck)
Some people hate on those who post their tasks for the day, I say fuck em and post it. If thats what helps your accountability, and show up online so you can show the world what youāre up to so you actually get shit done, then so be it. This is your world, and weāre just living in it.
Not to mention how this is great for visibility so a lurker/potential client starts getting to know you and your processesā¦
2. Hit up an online friend to co-work with or if you belong to any online community, tap in and see whoās down for a co-work session
This can be a mixture of just silence where you have your camera on, muted mics so thereās technically someone watching you work or an actual chat session where you talk shop (put down the pitchfork cuz thats not what this is) and shoot back and forth those ideas you might have, and then execute them as youāre working on them (while being mindful of the other person trying to work on their own thing obvs)
3. Evaluate and honor your productivity hours
As much as i tried being an early worm, it was just really fucking difficult for me to turn my brain on so early in the morning. I tried going straight to work for some morning quiet time to set the day, but found myself lollygagging for hours and taking twice as long on tasks so it felt super counterproductive to start so early.
Because the husband has such early mornings, he goes to bed early af and my dogs are usually done for the night, which just leaves me awake, in silence, with 0 distractions because the rest of the world is sleeping.
Maybe itās the ādeadlineā of having to go to sleep soon, maybe its the silence, or maybe itās the fact that there isnāt anything else I can do (like start vacuuming or organizing my closet to distract myself from the real tasks)
and yeah, I can just chill and watch some tv, but i know myself and I love working on my business so even if I am watching an episode of Sex and the City, (like I am right now) best believe Iām sitting here watching Samantha touch some jiblets while I get some work done.
4. Consider changing you work day schedule.
Maybe your work days arenāt meant to be the traditional Monday-Friday 9-5pm. Since realizing how productive I am from 8-11pm, Sunday-Thursdayās work better for me since I usually have Friday date nights with the husband.
Even tho sometimes date night consists of chilling at home watching a movie, Iāll sit back with my VMC margarita and pop out my laptop and work on some low-effort part of the business.
5. Try working in different places to tackle different tasks.
Iām not a āwork in a coffee shopā kinda gal because:
I hate feeling like I have to buy something (I love my coffee from home so this actually feels like an necessary expense)
What if thereās nowhere to sit?!
What if I have to go to the restroom? Do i take all my shit and risk losing my seat? Do I leave my stuff and trust a stranger to watch it for me??
What if the wi-fi sucks?
Gotta get back home to the dogs in a few hours so they can go potty
Maybe its the anxiety that doesnāt make this a suitable place for me, but sometimes I am too distracted on being in a new place and too worried about capturing āthe momentā. Buuuuuuut this is also the time I get really fucking creative with content, so I can use that to my advantage.
And maybe instead of going somewhere new, I go to my āol reliable Hot Java coffee shop down the street from me so I can get a change of setting, be around other humans, and be inspired to make some creative content instead of trying to work on something that requires me to focus a little more (or leave what requires high speed internet to be done at home)
My sister also works from home, and weāll occasionally have āwork partiesā, but this also has to be a day when Iām not swamped and working on a project that requires me to be concentrated because itās just in my nature to host and cater to her even if she isnāt asking for anything. But since EYE and the one that canāt help myself, I just choose to opt out of work parties on my busy days.
6. Try breaking up your large tasks into smaller tasks.
For example, Iām working on my about page, but I know this takes a lot out of me since Iām the one writing my own copy, not a copywriter, then design and develop on Showit. So, Iāll tackle only 1-3 canvases or writing 1-3 sections so the next time I work on this task, it doesnāt feel so dreadful that it takes up a lot of my time and put it on the backburner once more because it ātakes too longā (like i have been since April, YIKES).
7. This message is for me and anyone who can relate to this, but working from home, for yourself, and on your own schedule does not make you available 24/7 to everybody else.
Although this allows me to have a lot of flexibility in my day-to-day life like choosing to work in the evenings, the people in my circle seem to think Iām available for their favors all day because āIām just at homeā. Iām a recovering people pleaser who is still learning to set boundaries with people, so Iām challenging you (and myself) so practice respecting your own time and saying no to people when they try to cut into your allotted time to get something done just because you seem available.
As a newly practicing no-er, it feels heavy on my heart to feel like Iām letting someone down when I say no, but it feels worse when I say yes and I donāt want to. I resent them and I resent myself.
When I say no, I feel guilty for a second, and then really fucking proud of myself when I stand on business and stay true to my boundaries.
Ā
So First name / pookie, what is something youāve tried before to help keep you working/accountable? Iād love to hear any new ideas or if youāll be trying any of the ones listed above! Hit replyāIām nosy and I love a good productivity hack.
