💌 Self Love Sunday

Calm as a portal for connection..

Can you take a moment to pause, First name / my love? 
 
If the answer is yes, take a long deep breath. grab a cup of something warm and let's begin our self love sunday journey back to YOU. 
 
In my latest podcast episode we explore how calm might not be the ‘self love fix' you may have been promised, but also instead can be a portal for connecting you deeper to your ‘Self’ energy. 
 
It can feel like your inner world resembles a chaotic group chat: one Part is overthinking, another is panicking, and yet another wants to run away and hide. It’s no wonder calm feels like either the elusive goal or the ‘fix all’. 
 
You're not weird or going ‘mad’, in fact it's a very normal part of the mind, according to the concept of ‘internal family systems', which is essentially the idea that the mind is made up of different parts:
 
>the ‘vulnerable exile’ or ‘inner child’: your mind’s deeply hidden, wounded parts—like emotional time capsules filled with pain, fear, and unresolved burdens. These are parts of you trying to cope with the unprocessed hurts of the past.
 
>the ‘protectors’:  your inner bodyguards, working tirelessly to shield you from pain, discomfort, or vulnerability. Their methods might be a bit extreme, or even feel ‘punishing’ but their intentions are always positive.
 
>the Self: the cornerstone of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, this is your calm, compassionate, and centered inner presence—the essence of who you truly are, free of judgment, burdens, or emotional wounds. It’s like the wise CEO of your internal system, here to bring you back to reality, balance and harmony. 
 
When you connect to calm, you have this incredible opportunity to connect with YOU; to create choice and to change the course of action, to create less spiralling and more ease in your life. 
 
So why don't the things that promise calm magically guide you to this? You know, when you meditate, or do yoga? Why isn't it working outside of the time you commit to it?
 
It's kind of simple really. 
 
Calm CAN be a break from the chaos, which is a powerful thing and for some can be life changing; it goes a long way to balancing out what is a very stressful life for most…
 
But it can also be a bit like walking away from a burning building for an hour only to walk straight back towards it, without trying to do anything to out the fire out.
 
Using calm as avoidance of chaos doesn't equal change. 
 
Unless your calm can lead you into letting go and compassionate self inquiry, it may not be the 'fix you were looking for…
 
⭐ Elaine enters the group chat ⭐
 
If you want to be less ‘triggered’, want to be less hooked into imposter syndrome based scenarios, desire less people pleasing and swallowing your truth and desire less perfectionism that requires over doing EVERYTHING until it's right, you need to know what and why you are regulating, to give it a voice… 
 
When we mix the power of conscious calm with guided journaling that helps you connect with Self, we can help soothe our ‘inner child’ and bring the CEO Self energy in to make a longer lasting difference. 
 
And my monthly, online, ‘inner circle’ as part of the ‘unlocked’ community might just be the thing you need to start or compliment your own self love journey.
 
The first ‘circle' session is free, and is as simple as this suggests; we will take 45 minutes to pause, breathe, journal and BE, and you'll be able to connect with me via q and a so I can help you overcome any challenges you might be facing currently and offer some words of wisdom to help. 
 
If you signed up to the ‘self love unlocked workshop’ you will be auto-signed up to this and will be getting an email this week (where you can opt out), and if you want ‘in’ click the image below to sign up!

And if you can't wait until then, you can of course try this…
 
Self love Journalling
 
As always, I invite you to self connect with a few prompts to help….
 
Find some time to pause; to turn inwards and bring your own gaze to you.
 
Take a few deep breaths, and grab your pen and paper/journal…
 
Ask yourself:
What resonated with me about my own experiences from todays email?
What are my thoughts and feelings about that? 
What compassionate words can I offer all ‘triggerable’ parts of me?
How can I bring my centred ‘adult’ Self ‘in’ when I feel triggered? 
When you complete this journalling, it's important to acknowledge yourself for showing up. No fix required, just learning a bit more about what's going on within. 
 

If you need something more personal, and a safe space to be ‘you’, I have 1 space to start working with me 1:1 in December and I am opening up 10 spaces in January, as clients move on to needing less support. 
 
You can reply to this email and start an informal conversation about how I can help you or you can click here to find out more. 
 
Please remember this First name / my love ; you are already enough… so don't forget to go show yourself some love today.

Elaine x

Elaine Denton

Prof. Psych. Dip MNCPS (Acc.)

 
Disclaimer: Any meditations or guidance in these emails are not a substitute for therapy; if you have a diagnosed mental or emotional condition, please check with your medical team on the suitability of self connecting practices. These practices are an invitation to explore your inner landscape of thoughts and emotions. Should you have any questions about these practices, please don't hesitate to email me. 
 