This podcast started as a way to help others prepare for loss. I didn’t expect it to prepare me.

Tuesday Triage

November 4, 2025

Hi there,

 

This podcast started as a way to help others prepare for loss. I didn’t expect it to prepare me.

 

My Uncle Charlie passed away at 81 after a short illness on Thursday. When I first got the call, I didn’t cry. I went upstairs, told my husband, and said I was fine. But the next day, when I saw photos of him on Facebook, the tears came. It was like my brain finally caught up to my heart.

 

A few months ago, funeral planner Jamie Sarche told me on the podcast that we can’t “opt out” of grief. We might try to by skipping the ceremony or keeping busy, but grief always finds its way back.

 

Today, I’m driving from Michigan to New York to pick up my brother and then to New Jersey for my Uncle Charlie’s funeral service. I’m showing up to sit beside my brother, to support my cousins and my Aunt Eileen, and to remember the man who built the family that helped build me.

 

My Uncle Charlie was the kind of person who quietly held things together. He loved simply by showing up. And now, honoring him means doing the same.

 

In today’s Tuesday Triage, I flip the script and share how hosting this podcast taught me to face grief, not avoid it. I share how one conversation with Jamie Sarche changed the way I’m approaching my uncle’s funeral, and how I’m learning to live what I teach.

Why this matters

We spend so much time planning around loss—documents, logistics, the next step—when what we often need most is permission to pause. 

Ceremony, presence, and grief aren’t weaknesses in the process. They’re the bridge between the life we had and the one we’re learning to live after.

 

So if you’ve ever told your family, “Don’t make a fuss, just cremate me,” this episode is for you.

 

Because as Jamie said, “[T]he dead guy doesn't need a funeral. The dead guy's fine. The funeral, the memorial service, the ceremony, whatever that's going to look like, is not for the dead person. It is about the dead person, but it is for the people who are living.”

If you’re grieving or mourning right now

Jamie also shared the Six Needs of Mourning—the essential actions that help us move through grief, not around it. They’re a reminder that grief is not a problem to solve, but a process to live:

If you’re in mourning, or walking beside someone who is, consider this your permission slip to slow down. Let these six needs be your map, not your checklist.

Thanks for being here.