When I first started seeing men in my practice, I was scared. Talking about sex with straight men felt risky. I worried about inappropriate comments or uncomfortable moments.

 

Thirteen years later, I’m amazed by the opposite. Most of the men I work with are deeply thoughtful and genuinely trying to connect better with their partners. I get to meet men who are already brave enough to do the emotional and behavioral work required for intimacy.

 

What fascinates me most is how often relief floods in when they realize their relationship with sex was shaped by socialization, not defect. When men understand that they’ve been taught to use sex for emotional regulation, and that there are other ways to connect, something softens. Hope returns.

 

Because the truth is, patriarchy harms men too. Shame doesn’t create lasting change. Connection does. My hope is that more men find safety being truly seen, not just by providers like me, but by their friends, their partners, and themselves.