I have a lot more to say, but also, I'm exhausted and on a plane, and I can't talk about the retreat without an explosion of happy tears….so for now…a word from our director of carbs and logistics, Ethan, (who obviously was the most important person at this retreat.)
Logistics Are My “Love Language”
We went back to the same waterfront house this year on the Eastern Shore. That wasn’t laziness or lack of options. It was intentional. When you already know where all the bathrooms are, what’s stocked, and where I can prep while the group meets off the kitchen, everything gets easier. And also, we left our meat slicer there in the spring, and it was right where we left it. Bonus!
Eleven people showed up: three returning from last year, eight new. They came from Georgia, Michigan, and New York. Real flights. REALLY long drives. Real time. Real weekends they could have spent doing anything else. That’s not lost on me. When I’m making coffee at 6 a.m. or starting dinner prep right after lunch, I’m thinking about that. People trusted us with their time and their money. My job is to make sure neither gets wasted.
What I Actually Do Here
I don’t talk much during the group sessions. That’s Kory’s territory. She’s the ring leader. I’m the road crew. This year I finally figured out how to explain my role: I’m here so you don’t have to worry about anything you don’t want to do because that isn’t the work you came to do.
Don’t like what’s for dinner? I’ll make you something else. Executive function running on empty? Leave your dishes. Hate cooking? Great news. That’s my problem this weekend, not yours.
The point isn’t pampering. It’s accommodation. When your brain stops scanning for what might go wrong, it can pay attention to what might go right. Hospitality isn’t an accident. It’s an intentional intervention dressed up as really good avocado toast.
A Little Something New: Sponsors
This year we added sponsor gifts, and we didn’t dump them all at once. We spread them out over the whole weekend, a few each day, so retreaters could have time to explore them and something to look forward to. Each time, I shared a quick story about the company, why we chose them, and the person on the other end of the email who said yes. It added a nice interlude and a reason for me to be a little more involved in the conversation.
We targeted brands that either make products geared toward addressing sensory needs, or were solid companies that stand for more than their bottom line. And every time someone connected with an item, I slipped away in real time to send a grateful follow‑up to the rep who made it happen. It felt like closing the loop to an email exchange I started months ago.
I’m sure there are other neurodivergent retreats doing good work. I hope there are. If they’re treating logistics and meals as part of the therapeutic experience and not an afterthought, I’d love to compare notes. And pizza.
The Gratitude Part
People rearrange their lives to be here. They book flights, ask for time off, and spend money they could spend elsewhere. They show up not knowing if the strangers in the room will get them. That leap isn’t something we take lightly.
At the end of every retreat, I say thank you. This year I realized what I’m actually thanking them for. It isn’t just showing up. It’s trusting us enough to let their guard down, to do hard work, and to believe that a weekend with strangers might be exactly what they hoped.
My job is simple: remove friction so people can focus on why they’re here. Make sure nobody wonders whether their needs are too much. They aren’t. Accommodation is the point.
And yes, it works. This is three retreats down, and each one has been better than the last. We keep learning and keep adding details that make it a little better and a little more special.
Come for the avocado toast and espresso, stay for the special interest discussions and Kory's new spiral bound retreat workbook (we own a binding machine now). We’ll save you a seat.
-Ethan
What did the retreaters think? Glad you asked. I take copious notes.
“I really appreciate Ethan and I think it is so great to not have to think about food and dishes. it really helps me be here.”
“It’s also easier to make healthier food choices when food is handled all day.”
“He really made me feel like it was no big deal to make me what i needed. It doesn’t always genuinely happen when you need to be accommodated elsewhere."
“He seemed happy to do it.”
I can confirm, he was very happy to do it. Our own home is a house of MANY accommodations, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We want our retreateres to know what it's like to feel like your needs are important and never a burden. From welcome bags with comfort foods, to elevator access, to breaks, to soft things, to foods you can eat, private chats, hugs (when you want them!), or a quiet space….these accommodations are important.
We are so grateful for all of you that attended. And as soon as I can speak in complete sentences again, I will have a lot more to say.
-Kory
