“Christ is my righteousness, Christ is my righteousness…”

 

As my boys play on the pirate ship playplace, I repeat this refrain to myself as we wait to be called back into the pediatric dental exam room. I know what's coming, and the slightest push can send me down on that slippery sackcloth shame slide. If you rode one at a festival this fall, you know how the slightest push can send you flying down. This is how it is with me and cavities, well, among other things—other things being all the sneaky things that tempt me to find my security in my parenting performance instead of Jesus. 

 

But the second those cutie hygienists let me know that none of my kids have cavities, my inner stadium breaks out in boisterous applause as if chanting “I am my righteousness,” as the slow-motion replay of me brushing my kids' teeth with diligence and dedication appears on the jumbotron. Undefeated. No cavities to date. This winning streak brought to you by yours truly.

 

Welp, last week we had our first cavity. I watched as my son’s face fell. The sweet hygienist told him that the spot was nearly impossible to reach, that she could tell that he was doing a great job brushing. And I watched as he too, wrestled not to let a performance thing become an identity thing. And I was there ready to help him, all too familiar with this struggle, fearing I had passed it down myself. 

 

As we approached the checkout desk, a few of the hygienists came to talk to me about my kids. They said some really lovely things about them, about their conversational skills, their manners, and their love for one another. But humility supplanted boasting, helping me remember and embrace the truth that should always be on that internal jumbotron:

 

 “It’s all God’s grace,” I responded. 

 

When my kids behave well, it’s his enabling grace to be praised, when my kids behave poorly, it’s his saving grace to rest in.

 

 

Grace is for the older brother with no cavities and the younger brother who needs a filling. 

 

And the good news of the gospel is this: we are loved by God, not because of how diligently we brush our kids’ teeth, or how well we’ve taught them to behave at the dentist, or who our inner cheering section praises when we succeed or boos when we fail. God loves us because we have been welcomed into his family through the finished work of our perfect elder brother, Jesus Christ, who gives us the Spirit of Adoption by whom we cry, “Abba Father.” This is good news on our best days and our worst days—for what’s within and outside of our control. And regular remembrance helps retrain that inner stadium to root for and recognize his work in our lives.

 

If you were sitting across from me at this little coffee shop table where I am writing, I’d hold up a peace sign and remind you, “Christ is your righteousness.” 

 

Rest in that today as you parent your kids and brush their teeth, or as you remember that you forgot to.

 

 

 

with humble gratitude,

We recently finished the Wilderking Trilogy from Jonathon Rogers. We listened to the audio version of these adaptations of the life of David (he's an incredible narrator) and my kids are still pretending to be the characters while they play. These books provided great entertainment, a shared experience, a new “pretend” play activity, and lots of good conversation.

 

We're replaying scenarios all over the place around here right now. A harsh word, a lie, an unheeded instruction, an outburst… “Let's try that again" provides an opportunity to show that they already know (instead of being lectured) and it gives them the opportunity to learn by doing (instead of simply being punished). I say it for myself too… when I respond in a way i don't want to. There's no real re-wind button, but this sort of phrase creates a helpful opportunity for repair.

 

I LOVED this crock pot ground turkey chilli.  

With just six main ingredients and three spices, it was SUPER easy and SUPER delicious. 

Well, its been a few years… but IT'S BACK! This year, I'm offering a FREE Advent devotional for moms. Entitled “Good News of Great Joy,” this devotional will walk through the book of Luke verse by verse, helping you engage with the text and offering a short application specifically for moms. All you have to do is sign up, and it will pop up in your email inbox each morning from December 1 to Christmas Day.  

I'd love for you to join me and to invite a friend to join you!

Click the image below to sign up!

R. With kids this young, I think it's important to remember that they're still learning to regulate their emotions and deal with big feelings. My refrain when my kids say something unkind like this to me is, “No matter how you feel about me, I always love you.” I'll empathize with them too saying, “You're upset right now, and it feels like saying the worst thing you can think of will make you feel better. I know what that feels like. But it doesn't usually help me… did it help you feel better to speak to me that way?” Putting the ball in their court can help things cool off in a heated moment. Give them the benefit of the doubt and try to de-escalate: “I don't want you to be spoken to that way, and I don't think you want to talk to me that way either. I'm here for you if you need help to calm down, and can also give you space if that's what you feel like you need.” Sometimes I'll hold my arms out for a hug, and they'll run in and start crying. It doesn't feel good to be out of control, and often my guys were looking for comfort. When they come down and say sorry, you can pray with them to receive forgiveness for being unkind and tell them that you forgive them, that you won't hold it against them, and that it won't come between you. 

 

R. I've learned SO much from raising boys. My top tips are to (1) prioritize movement. Making sure my guys are able to move their bodies is crucial, especially before we're going somewhere or doing something for which they'll need to be still! (2) Don't confuse maturity and morality. Boys immaturity really shines at some stages. They're figuring out how to be funny… and I'm often tempted to over-parent things that aren't about their character. But what they need is a safe place to be silly. (3) Honor girls. I think we all have a tendency to want to condemn what we don't understand. I'm teaching my guys to treasure girls as image bearers instead of dismissing them as “other.”

 

R. It's coming… December's Newsletter! EEEEEP!

 

note: I gather these questions from instagram… but it you have one, feel free to reply to this email with it and we'll stick it in the list!

 

 

 

“45 And when Moses had finished speaking all these words to all Israel, 46 he said to them, “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law. 47 For it is no empty word for you, but your very life, and by this word you shall live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess.”

-Deuteronomy 32:45-47, ESV

 

I'll save my best work and thoughts for this list, but I'll still be posting on the gram. If we're not connected there, I'd love for you to come follow along! Just click one of these “lately” photos below!