As we end another unprecedented year of enormous challenges, opportunities, and accomplishments we give thanks to all the wonderful things we have been able to accomplish and the exciting things that lie ahead for 2026 and beyond.

 

We look forward as a group to celebrating the year with our annual New Year’s Eve gala and fundraiser with the theme of "Carnival" in Palm Springs and honoring our legacy and the people who inspired us and led the way. There are so many Black LGBTQ+ leaders, cultural icons, writers, activists, and allies who helped lend their voice to our struggle and triumphs and we want to celebrate and give thanks to them during what will be the party of the year.

 

We are coming off a successful wellness summit preview Real Talk Real Health, and are energized to make it bigger and better next year. We want to continue to offer events, programs, support services free of charge and would like your continued support to grow, building a stronger community of Black Gay men and our allies in the Coachella Valley and beyond.

 

When you enter Brothers of the Desert’s New Year’s Eve gala on Dec. 31 at the Riviera Resort & Spa, our hope is that you will relish all that the celebration offers you.

The fundraising dinner-dance has been designed to delight the senses, from the Caribbean and Cajun flavors of its sumptuous menu to liberating samba beats rooted in African rhythms.

Like its twin inspirations — Brazil’s carnival and New Orleans’ Mardi Gras — the event also is an opportunity for personal transformation and renewal.

The tradition of vibrant music, festive décor, and fabulous masks allows guests from various backgrounds to drop their societal roles and egos, unite, and forge communal bonds you can carry into 2026.

 

Expect bold colors and glamorous décor. Tables covered with traditional Mardi Gras hues — purple (justice), green (faith) and gold (power) — will alternate throughout the Riviera ballroom. The tablescapes also will include shimmery beads and brightly colored plumes in dramatic vases. Adding to the vibe will be an abundance of lights and tropical flowers.

The most important element of the ambiance will be you the guest. Dress festively, but formal attire is not required; it’s all about how you interpret carnival style. However, everyone is encouraged to wear a mask to set your mood and convey the spirit of the evening.

“There are masks that embolden us, and you see that in carnival,” says Haitian-American author Edwidge Danticat. “The shiest child puts on a mask and can do anything and be anybody.”

 

Dinner will consist of a buffet in three stations: main, pasta and dessert.

Guests will have the option of savory braised short ribs, salmon with a tropical salsa, rice and peas, winter green salad, and a variety of other vegetables, with cornbread and honey butter.

In addition to the array of vegetables, non-meat eaters and others can also enjoy creamy Cajun and traditional pesto pastas.

 

To satisfy your sweet tooth, the dessert station will serve up delectable bread pudding and, honoring the Mardi Gras theme, King Cake. While enjoying the tasty, wreath-shaped confection, remember if your slice contains a tiny plastic baby-doll, tradition requires you to host the next big shindig!

 

Red wine, white wine and a non-alcohol beverage will be served at the tables, and there will be a no host full bar available. Guests can toast the new year with either champagne or a non-alcohol bubbly.

 

Dance is an integral part of carnival, and we’ve invited a sexy samba troupe from San Diego to get the party started. Backed by a driving steel drumbeat, these energetic dancers will lead guests onto the dance floor and perform, setting the stage for a night of exciting dance-floor entertainment.

 

Also, DJ Space returns to the New Year’s Eve gala to spin a beloved mix of rhythm and blues, soul, funk, pop and more that is always a hit with music-lovers.

 

If you’re the type who dances until your heels come off at 1 a.m. – and we hope you are – consider spending the night at the Riviera. The Palm Springs hotel offers a discounted room rate for gala guests Dec. 30 – Jan. 4: https://book.passkey.com/event/51077367/owner/17590/home

 

We are excited to share with gala guests an opportunity to make the evening even more special. We have collected one-of-a-kind items for our silent auction. The rare gems that will be available for bidding and possible purchase include:

Brothers of the Desert is a 501(c)(3).

 

Four individuals who have made indelible contributions to the LGBTQ+ community locally and beyond — and have demonstrated invaluable support of Brothers of the Desert over the years — will  be recognized:

Gil Gerald — A highly regarded leader of social change who paved the way for future generations of Black LGBTQ+ activists, and a Brothers of the Desert member who is writing his memoir.

Grace Garner — A Palm Springs City Council member and outstanding former mayor, serving her second term on the council as the district one representative.

Joe Hawkins — A community organizer who co-founded Oakland Pride and Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, currently serving as CEO of the center.

Lauren Joichin Nile — An author and multifaceted consultant, counselor, trainer and speaker who has championed diversity, equity and inclusion nationally and internationally.

 

The New Year’s Eve gala is an important fundraiser for Brothers of the Desert, funding various programs and our newly established scholarship for LGBTQ+ students of color pursuing higher education.

 

A 15 percent discount is applied to gala tickets purchased, if you use the BOD2025 code, before Dec. 15.

My husband Tim and I have been in Palm Springs 10 years this month. I’m originally from the Pittsburgh Pennsylvania area. My professional life led me to Philadelphia, Aspen, Miami, London, Los Angles and finally to Palm Springs.

 

I work as a private Estate Manager. I manage private estates or multi private homes for high profile clients.The first estate that I managed is now for sale as the most expensive home in the U.S .at $300 million in Aspen Colorado. Any buyers?

 

I have been involved with the BOD since the beginning. I’m one of the original OG’s! It has been a blessing watching our organization grow and to see how BOD impacts the Palm Springs community.

 

It is necessary for me to feel that I am a part of an inclusive community. BOD has provided that ability to achieve that for me. As we age we need support from our chosen family and  community along our journey.

 

My passion in life is cooking. As a child I watched my mother bring joy to our community through food. I realized that food is emotions.The emotional connection of nurturing became apparent to me and the ability to nurture people through food was obvious. Stirring the pot started the conversation that led to the creation of BOD.

 

My biggest joy in life is my family. The joys of being a parent, grandparent and great grandfather and finding my true Love later in my life. And then there is Beau! The best pup ever!

 

My dream is to travel the world and document my experiences with cooking in different cultures. I want to continue to be a advocate for healthy living.

 

Brothers of the Desert is excited to continue our monthly discussion group called Barbershop: A Black Gay Men’s Space for Honest Talk About Wellness, now in our second year!

 

Building upon the tradition of barbershops in Black communities, the discussion group is designed to encourage open and honest conversation. The meetings are welcoming a spectrum of Black men, gay, bisexual, transgender and nonbinary. The wellness topics discussed are diverse, ranging from dating and intimacy, aging considerations, how we get and offer support, and exploring our identities as Black men.

 

The group meets the second Tuesday of each month from 5:30-7:00 PM. There is no charge to attend. We begin with a meet and greet with dinner that begins at 5:30PM and the discussion group starts at 6PM. The group is facilitated by Stuart Huggins and Will Dean.

 

To register to attend the meetings email: willdean.boardmember@brothersofthedesert.org

 

For questions email Tim Vincent at president@brothersofthedesert.org

 

Brothers of the Desert members meet monthly to discuss recent and upcoming events, share updates on the organization, celebrate our accomplishments, and have an opportunity to connect with new and existing members.

 

Join us for our Monthly Members & Allies Lunch at Peruvian Fuego!

Both members and allies are welcome to attend (Cash and Carry).

RSVP with DavidMaurice.Jones@gmail.com before December 12, 2025.

 

Every year when December rolls in, the world starts humming the familiar tune of celebration. There are ribbons everywhere, families gathering around crowded tables, couples holding each other close in front of soft glowing lights. It is a season that tells us connection should be easy, that love should be abundant, and that we should feel full. Yet so many of us enter this time carrying an ache we rarely speak aloud.

 

Loneliness has a way of arriving quietly. It can slip into a room filled with people. It can sit beside us at dinner. It can follow us on our holiday travels. For many men, especially Black queer men, loneliness is not just the absence of company. It is the longing to be understood. The longing to exhale without pretending. The longing to be held without explaining why. It is a craving for connection that lives in the chest and stays there, even when the world around us is celebrating.

 

We do not talk about this enough. We do not talk about how the holidays can magnify the gap between the life we have and the life we wish we were living. We do not talk about the pressure to feel joyful when our hearts are doing something entirely different. We do not talk about those moments when we scroll through photos of smiling families or romantic holiday getaways and feel something tender and painful rise up inside.

 

Longing shows us what we desire. It also shows us where we have been afraid to reach. There is courage in admitting that we want connection. There is power in saying that we want to be chosen, touched, loved, or simply remembered. These truths do not make us weak. They make us human.

 

During this season, many of us carry old stories. Some are about family. Some are about love. Some are about moments in our past when we felt invisible or unworthy. These stories can resurface in December when we are surrounded by reminders of closeness. They come back not to punish us, but to be acknowledged. They want us to slow down, listen, and maybe rewrite what comes next.

 

So how do we meet each other with care during a time that can be both beautiful and brutal?

We start by telling the truth. We start by saying, “I get lonely too”. We let go of the idea that strength means pretending. We let ourselves be seen by the people who have earned our trust. We allow simple gestures to matter. A check-in text. A shared meal. A walk with someone who listens. These small moments create openings where connection can breathe.

We also practice offering what we hope to receive. Tenderness. Presence. A genuine “I am glad you exist”. When we extend these things, we help build a community where nobody has to hide behind holiday cheer.

 

And we remember this. Longing does not mean we are broken. Loneliness does not mean we have failed. These feelings are invitations. They ask us to draw closer to ourselves and to each other. They invite us to create relationships that feel nourishing, honest, and real.

 

If this season feels heavy for you, you are not alone. If you find yourself missing something or someone, you are not alone. If you are craving touch, companionship, or a moment of deep connection, you are not alone. So many of us are walking through the holidays with tender hearts. And there is no shame in that.

 

My hope is that this December, you give yourself permission to speak what aches. To soften where you can. To reach out when it feels right. And to allow the possibility that connection can show up in quiet, unexpected ways.

 

Because the truth is this. We are not meant to move through this world alone. We are meant to be held. We are meant to be witnessed. We are meant to be met with care.

 

And that begins when we dare to name what we carry.

On Saturday November 15th, we hosted our speaker series event, Real Talk Real Health at the Renaissance Palm Springs. Over 60 people gathered to hear inspiring presentations and a panel discussion from founder of the project, Can I Be Vulnerable, BJ Williams, LGBTQ+ elder advocate, Dr. Imani Woody, CEO of In the Meantime, Dr. Leon Maultsby, and nationally recognized public health advocate, Dr. Daniel Driffin. The event was hosted and moderated by Anye Elite of Icon City Entertainment and co-sponsored by Gilead Sciences. The day focused on supporting our mental health, the power of telling our stories and building our collective resilience. This served as a preview to our 7th annual Brothers of the Desert Wellness Summit set for Saturday March 28th at the Renaissance.

Pictured: (Anye Elite, BJ Williams. Dr. Imani Woody, Tim Vincent, Dr. Daniel Driffin, Marcus Wilson and Dr. Leon Maultsby)                                                                                                                               

For more pictures from the event go to:

(photos by Craig Allyn)

As the holidays arrive once again, I find myself reflecting on the mix of emotions that December always seems to bring. There is joy in the decorations that sparkle around the city. There is warmth in seeing people gather. There is real beauty in the traditions that come alive this time of year. And yet, beneath all of that, I also feel something quieter. Something that asks me to slow down and breathe. Something that reminds me that this season is not always simple.

 

The truth is that joy and grief walk into the holidays together. They are not rivals. They do not cancel each other out. They sit beside each other in the heart, each one telling a different story about where we have been and what we long for.

 

There were years when I believed I had to choose one feeling. Be cheerful or be withdrawn. Smile or step back. But life has taught me that we are meant to feel many things at once. The holidays bring laughter and connection, but they also awaken memories of people we miss, moments we wish we could relive, and older versions of ourselves that no longer fit who we are becoming. It is completely human to feel gratitude and sadness in the same breath.

 

When I speak to friends and members of our community, I hear this same truth. Some are celebrating new love or new beginnings. Some are carrying grief that still feels tender. Some are welcoming the season with open arms. Some are simply trying to get through it without pretending. There is no wrong way to feel during this time. There is only the invitation to be honest with ourselves and with each other.

 

This season calls us to compassion. Not the kind that rushes in to make everything bright, but the kind that softens us. The kind that teaches us to hold our own hearts with care. The kind that helps us extend a little more patience to the people around us. When we give ourselves permission to experience more than one emotion at a time, we make room for deeper healing and real connection.

 

So if your holidays feel complicated this year, please know that you are not alone. If you find yourself laughing one moment and feeling a wave of sadness the next, you are simply being human. If you miss someone, honor that truth. If you are celebrating something beautiful, claim that joy fully. Both deserve your attention. Both deserve space.

 

My hope for you this season is simple. May you feel free to experience the full range of your emotions without judgment. May you check in on the people you care about and allow them to check in on you. May you create or discover spaces where your joy is welcomed and your grief is understood. And may you remember that you do not have to move through this month pretending that everything is perfect.

 

The holidays have a way of showing us who we are. They reveal what we cherish. They illuminate what still aches. They remind us that growth and healing are ongoing journeys.

May this season remind you of your capacity to hold many truths at once. May you treat yourself with tenderness. And may you allow both joy and grief to sit with you without asking either one to disappear.

 

They both shape us.
They both matter.
And they both deserve your care.

 

Happy Holidays, with warmth and love.