Two months ago, my husband and I bought a house. And like anyone who has ever bought a house will tell you, “closing day” is just the beginning.

Tuesday Triage

December 2, 2025

Hi there,

 

Two months ago, my husband and I bought a house. And like anyone who has ever bought a house will tell you, “closing day” is just the beginning.

 

There were inspections to follow up on, locks and key codes we still haven’t changed, and the corner of unboxed doom in the basement. Our to-do list has grown faster than we could cross things off.

 

But last night, we finally made a plan, a simple list and a reasonable schedule to chip away at all the unfinished pieces. It’s not perfect, but it’s doable, and that’s the best we can manage right now.

 

Today’s Tuesday Triage question comes from Amy in Nashville, and her situation reminded me so much of this feeling: when the legal milestone is behind you… but the real work lives in the follow through.

 

Amy is recently divorced after a decade-long marriage. She and her former husband did their estate planning five years ago, and now she’s wondering:

“Do I need to change my Will so my ex doesn’t inherit anything?”

The short answer is: Yes, you should update it. But Tennessee law gives you some breathing room. Under Tennessee law, gifts to an ex spouse in a Will are automatically revoked upon divorce.

 

The longer (and more important) answer is: Your Will isn’t the document most likely to cause disaster after a divorce. Your beneficiary designations are.

 

In Tennessee, getting divorced automatically revokes anything your Will leaves to your ex-spouse. But it does not revoke:

Update your beneficiary designation forms

to avoid this costly mistake.

A man died in 2022 with a retirement account still naming his ex-wife as beneficiary, even though their divorce agreement called the account his “sole and absolute” property.

 

She received every dollar, all $269,851. Why? Because he never filed the correct beneficiary-change form with the plan administrator.

 

Even if you live in one of 26 states that does automatically revoke beneficiary designations on divorce, that law does NOT apply to your 401(k). Your ex stays in place until you remove them.

 

Why? ERISA overrides state divorce laws. Your 401(k), many pensions, and other employer plans are governed by federal law, not state law.

 

Check every single beneficiary designation you have. Retirement. Life insurance. Bank accounts. Investment accounts. All of it.

 

It is the simplest divorce-related fix you can make, and one of the most important.

And remember, Death Readiness isn’t about being perfect. It’s about taking the next doable step. Just like my house—one item, one update, one small act of follow-through at a time.

Thanks for being here.

PS: If you’re divorced and not quite sure your estate plan reflects your new reality, check out my Estate Plan Audit. It’s a simple way to understand what still works, what doesn’t, and what needs to be updated to protect your kids, your assets, and your wishes.