Sorry if you missed my e-news last week, but I was not in a place mentally, emotionally or physically to write it. Which brings me to this week's e-news. 

 

How do you stay positive in a crazy world? What practices or routines do you have to keep yourself from sinking in the abyss? I have had to do a lot of soul searching these days and sadly I allowed my frustration with doctors to get the best of me.

 

As most of you are aware I am suffering from many spinal issues, all of which causes pain. Some days my pain is so bad I can't walk, which is why they are in the process of fitting me with a power chair. As my spine deteriorates it is getting harder to walk. I find dealing with the medical professions depressing because they scare the crap out of you then say “but there is nothing we can do for you.” 

 

After x-rays and MRI's I found out just how bad my entire spine is and the doctors were so discouraging. I was told that eventually as my neck continues to degenerate that one day I will not be able to hold my head up and may require a rod or special brace.  I asked her what can I do to keep my neck moving for as long as possible, I was told "there really isn't much you can do and I turned to my doctor and asked her why do doctors steal people's hope? 

 

This caused me to sink into a depressed state, got into the why me's and poor me's. I hate being there for if I don't catch it I can sink pretty deep. So, I dug into my old tool box, the one I gained in recovery for addiction. I actually did something that I hated doing 15 years ago, I did a gratitude list.

 

I needed to remind myself that even with the physical pain and issues I am having there is still a lot of good in my life. I have people who love and care about me and would do anything for me. I have a home with a roommate I love, I have enough money to get by, I have all my basic needs met - and I am so grateful for that is really all I need.

 

I am blessed by my friends and their compassion and understanding. I have been hesitant to make plans with people because I never know how I will be when I wake up. Thankfully my friends understand this and never get upset if I say “I am sorry I just can't do that today.”

 

I also need to focus on all the good people in the world, you know the ones that aren't causing other people harm. There are more people helping others, the problem is our media doesn't report those stories so we only get to see the worst in people. But the good are out there and they are being seen so I focus on them.

 

Remaining grateful for the good things, the blessings is how I keep myself from falling into the abyss. Someone recently said to me “why are we being punished?” It made me think of my dad who had MS and suffered from a lot of pain. I remember asking my dad if he was angry at God for allowing him to suffer. He turned to me said “Patty, suffering isn't a punishment, it's an opportunity. It's an opportunity to become compassionate and empathetic towards others and yourself. Suffering is an opportunity to teach and grow and help those going through similar situations.”

 

My father never saw suffering as a punishment, but rather an opportunity from God to do good with it. My father worked with many MS patients at the VA, helping them get their VA benefits, having long conversations in our kitchen and helping them to change their perspective about their life.

 

I had forgotten this and fell into the “poor me” bus. Today, this week, I am so grateful. I am grateful for my life as expressed above, but more than that I am grateful for the blessing of suffering and hope I, like my dad, can turn it into a positive.

 

So, this week I ask what tools do you use to deal with the hard parts of life? How do you keep yourself from falling into the abyss? How do you use your difficulties and challenges to help others? How do you use it to help yourself?

 

In today's world it isn't always easy to find the positive or good, but the good news is to find it you only have to look into your own heart. May this holiday season remind you of your blessings and may those blessings make life just a little bit easier.

 

And may you too find the gift in suffering.

 

 

 

If you have additional questions about Spiritual Counseling/Guidance and if it is for you, please feel free to contact me via e-mail at spiritualpathwaysnh@gmail.com.

 

Namaste,

 

Pat Laurino

Intuitive Energy Healer/Spiritual Psychic/Medium

 

The above list is only a portion of the providers we are blessed to have. So, if you feel frustrated with traditional medicine maybe try one of the above practitioners, who knows it may just change your life and aren't you worth that?