So, I'm not talking about this on socials yet, but I LOVE this newsletter community, and I wanted you to know before I share about this project publicly.
This book has been years in the making, and is the result of wrestling with fear and shame as I considered the impact of my own sins and shortcomings on my kids. For the past year or so, every time a local friend asked what I was working on and I shared the title of this book, she would say, “Oh, I need to read that ASAP.” Sometimes, she'd even get tears in her eyes and start divulging specifics. That's why this project is so special to me… because I think a lot of us moms struggle in secret or in silence, but really, we're all desperate to be good moms who raise good humans, and yet when our heads hit the pillow at night, we're often flooded with thoughts of self-condemnation and self-doubt.
But the gospel is good news for moms! And not just because it helps us deal with guilt and shame, but also because it has the power to change us and to help us parent well as works-in-progress. That's the message of this book. Nothing is beyond redemption—not you, not your experience of motherhood, and not the impact of your sin and shortcomings on your kids. And I hope you will taste that redemption as you read it.
Okay, for now, let's keep this news between us. But I'm ELATED to get to share it with you. I am so sincerely grateful to you for reading from where you are, as I share from where I am. More good stuff to come!!!
with humble gratitude,
PS. Here's the cover:
What do you think?!
here's something…
…WE are doing differently this year:
For Christmas this year, we shifted from our long rhyme with 7 gifts (something you want, something you need…) to giving only three gifts, largely influenced by my friend Whitney Newby:
1. Something to Wear
2. Something to Read
3. Something to Play With
Christmas morning just felt like there was a lot of chaos and a lot of trash. This year, each boy has two gifts under the tree from us to open, and one from each of their brothers (which they will open Christmas Eve … a tradition from my OG family). We'll head to our new property (more on that below) for them to find their third gift already set up and ready to play with. Grandparents are super generous with them… and we just felt like we didn't want the influx of stuff, onslaught of overstimulation, or the invitation to entitlement (more! more! more!). I share all this not to say it's what you should do, but to say that it's okay to change things up!
What's the same? We'll do stockings first, enjoy a formal breakfast together with traditional food and fine china, then we'll open gifts together, taking turns. I love Christmas morning, and this year feels like it will be extra special.
…else i'm excited to share:
We're moving!
Well, not yet, but things are underway. Last Christmas, my husband gave me a signed contract as a Christmas gift. He bought the lot next to some of our dearest friends here. This week, the foundation is going in for the home we are building there. We never expected to leave the house we're currently in, but we love what this new property's location and layout will mean for our family and relationships. I'm not sure how much of the building process I'll share on Instagram, but I'm excited to keep you updated here!
…we're saying with our kids:
“You are not what you do.”
One of my kids has a habit of making action things identity things. Let me explain…. If I say “that probably wasn't the smartest choice,” he might crumble, crying, “I'm so stupid! I'm the stupidest.” Or if I say, “You need to finish this before moving on to that." He might fall apart, lamenting that he's the most irresponsible boy who's ever been.
We've been talking a lot about how we can repent of action things without turning them into identity things. It's good for us to feel conviction about what we do wrong, so that we can confess it, receive forgiveness, and get help to change. But the truest thing about us is that we belong to Jesus. That is who we are. When we make action things identity things, we miss out on the joy and security that comes from being his children. Resting in our identity as his beloved children helps us to run to him in repentance instead of dissolving into shame when we fail. It helps us to learn and grow instead of staying stuck where we are. And it helps us live with gratitude, joy, and endurance instead of paralysis and self-condemnation.
…I'm really enjoying:
My sister often says, sometimes the only difference between something being done and not done… is doing it.
It's a good word for me, because I tend to think things have to look a certain way to happen, so they just don't happen. This December, I really wanted to read the Chronicles of Narnia series out loud with my kids… so, following that mantra, I just started. We're not reading at a set time… sometimes it's at the lunch table, sometimes it's at bedtime (the best is when the littlest falls asleep while we're reading), sometimes it's at a random time they ask for, and we sit down on the couch. I often wish that I were more of a regimented/ routine person… but reading aloud as a regularity, even if it isn't a rhythm, has been a treasure for me this December. We're on the third book of the series, and I am filled with wonder right alongside them.
…you asked:
Okay, skipping the actual Q and R this month… but trying something new, so this is actually a newsletter-specific thing.
Do you have questions for me?! About the book, or parenting, or life, or anything really? If so, please click the button below and ask them. I'll choose a few to answer in each newsletter and will continue to link to it so you can ask new questions as you think of them!
*This gorgeous artwork, now incorporated into my branding, is from the Lunaria collection by my beautiful friend, Katherine Miller Knuth. Check her out! I love everything she does.
