Most of us say we hate conflict or describe ourselves as 
conflict-averse. 
Society doesn’t necessarily reward yelling or screaming, but if it does, it’s still really unattractive to most of us – not because of what it IS but for how it FEELS.
 
There are some conflicts that resolve themselves, so we don’t really think of them as “conflict” at all - even when they are.
 
If we just resolved it and “feel better” we are likely to start associating conflict only with pain instead of progress. 
 
What if we can learn to identify conflict without pain? 
 
I’m not saying there won’t be discomfort. What I am saying is that the pain will feel “clean” instead of “dirty.”
A note on “clean pain”: “It's the pain you experience when you know, exactly, what you need to say or do; when you really, really don't want to say or do it; 
and when you do it anyway”. 
David Schnarch, PhD

This week, I’ll offer you a few reflection questions and invite you to explore your relationship to conflict. What happens in your life when conflict goes well? What if conflict could transform relationships so we don’t have to avoid the hard things (or each other) as much?

If you’d like to sit with this idea a little slower, you might reflect on a few questions like these:
  1. What does “conflict” usually feel like in my body?
  2. Can I remember a time when disagreement led to clarity or closeness?
  3. How do I know when tension is becoming too much for me?
See you next week!
LaShawn
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