In a simpler world, Tara would've trudged through the knee-deep snow and unlocked the door to the space we were sharing tonight without incident.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't live in a simple world.
I lived in a world where I wanted my colleague so much, I plowed all the way through lust and came out the other side in the deep end of resentment.
And Tara lived in a world where those useless boots of hers sent her sliding on a patch of ice and tumbling face first into a snow drift.
I jogged toward her, careful for the ice, and scooped her out of the snow. "What the fuck was that, Treloff?" I shouted, hoisting her over my shoulder. It was a good thing she was doll-sized. I wouldn't have been able to manage Tara, the luggage, and the shepherd's pie otherwise and f&ck me if I was leaving the shepherd's pie behind.
"I fell in the snow, Drew."
I rolled my eyes. It saved me from thinking about my cheek and how it was resting on her thigh. "Those boots are useless. No traction whatsoever."
"I'm sure you have a story about how you did something important with snow and boots with extra traction while at Dartmouth," she said, her hands fisting around the back of my coat.
"What the f&ck does that mean?" I shouted.
"Just that you always have a story about the amazing things you did at Dartmouth," she replied. "Is there a quota? Like, you have to mention your alma mater three times per day or they'll revoke your preppy boy card? Or are you worried I'll forget? Contrary to your peculiar opinion, people who attended state schools do have long-term memory. I won't forget, Drew."
Snow and ice bit at the side of my face as I pushed the key into the lock. After some jiggling and twisting, the door creaked open. As promised, the space was a wreck but it was dry and relatively warm.
I kicked the door shut and dropped the bags. "You better not fall over when I put you down."
She released her hold on my coat. "I won't."
"I'm not picking you up if you do." I was absolutely picking her up. Anywhere, anytime.
"I'm not asking you to pick me up. You didn't have to pick me up back there. I would've been fine, you know."
"You say that…" With my hands on her waist to guide her, I bent to set her on her feet.
She leaned back against the door, her face stung red from the cold. "And I meant it. I know you think I'm completely incapable but I do know how to get up when I fall down, Drew."
Tara stared up at me, her dark eyes wide and her lips parted, and a violent shiver rattled through her. It killed me to see her like this.
I could fix everything else for her—I could deal with the protocols and scheduling issues she loathed and unjam the copier and anything else that gave her trouble at work—but I couldn't stand here, helpless to do anything but watch while she shook with cold.