Our underscheduled-family was headed for a looong, busy weekend in Minnesota and I was feeling uneasy.

 

I was particularly apprehensive about the upheaval of our routine — even for the necessary disruption of a 900-mile plane, train, and automobile journey to attend Bear’s grandma’s funeral.

 

 

In order to feel some sense of control over the uneasiness, I put my effort into preparing, packing and predicting. 

 

There were nice-enough funeral outfits to consider, warm clothes to gather, healthy snacks to pack, entertaining activities to select, family dynamics to discuss and how everything was going to fit into our suitcases.

 

Our little family was the only one living outside of the state. Traveling for the funeral was a given, loyal responsibility AND we were using most of our capacity just to arrive in town. 

 

The grief of the family's loss muddled communication. Funeral arrangements were coming in hazy and it was hard to get clear details on when we needed to be where and what we needed to do.

 

Funerals have a way of gathering everything tender into one room — grief, logistics, expectations, and love — all speaking at once.

 

It was becoming the classic nobody speaks up but also everybody is supposed to know family situations. 

 

IYKYK.

 

We knew we needed to get clear on what we expected of ourselves, before we arrived. It would help protect what capacity we had left after traveling. 

 

 

We talked through possible rough moments:

If the girls won’t wear their funeral outfits, fine. We’re here. 
Adley needs to snack in church the whole time? Fine. We’re here. 
Our kids won’t stand out in the 12° air for the burial? Fine. We’re here.

 

Really, we were trying to give ourselves grace, and the permission to put our family first, when necessary.

 

The day we left, I set my own intention: Release any expectations about how the trip unfolds. 

 

….well, I had one expectation that seemed fair enough to keep when you’re gathering over 60 family members.

 

I expected the funeral experience to feel a bit like a herding cats situation.  

 

What I didn’t expect was that I would become the herder. 

I know that every time we gather with Bear’s family, there’s the dreaded end-of-gathering family photo moment.

 

We were about to gather 5 generations to honor a 97 year-old-woman and I knew a family photo was desired, but maybe, felt like too much to ask for.

 

Me? I just didn’t want to be in a cat parade.

 

So I made it a point to gather everyone for photos at the wake. Whoever was there would be in the photo and that would be enough.

 

I knew better than to put everyone in one big photo. So as we stood around, I ushered all those great grandchildren onto a couch, placing bodies so all heads could be seen. 

 

I made them sing happy birthday to keep them still-ish long enough to snap several pictures.

 

Next, I corralled the grand kids. They knew it was coming after helping to pose their children.

 

Finally, I placed a hand on each of the kids and told them it was their turn. 

 

I’m not the tallest person in the family or the loudest or even the most commanding, but in that moment I was the most me. 

 

Bringing order to chaos is like catnip for me. I was winning and so was my mother-in-law. She was so grateful for all the photos.

 

So grateful she asked for another batch of photos at the church after the funeral. Turns out, it wasn’t enough that we were missing family members the night before.

 

But that was my expectations, not hers. So when I got asked to take more pictures. I said yes.

 

Capturing another set of photos was a lot easier since we’d practiced the night before.

 

But I still didn’t try for the grand-slam-full-family-photo. Too many cats for me.

 

Because I didn’t need to manage everything — just the one thing that mattered.

 

 

P.S. I loved hearing from you after #52. Thank you for telling me why you read — authentic, encouraging, inspiring. I’m carrying that with me.

 

Workshop | Worth Sharing | Calendar | Studio Snapshot

Beauty that holds order | These floral compression packing cubes were a last-minute but meaningful choice before we left — chosen for their sustainability features and their beautiful design. Made from recycled materials with safer chemicals, they kept our shared suitcases calm and organized through multiple unpackings. It was especially grounding to know exactly where our funeral clothes and cold-weather layers were, without having to dig.

 

A helpful reframe for anxious moments | The whole conversation in the “Your Inner Child” episode of We Can Do Hard Things was interesting, but the first ten minutes were gold. They shared a simple, clarifying idea: anxiety shows up in the gap between what we expect to happen and what actually does. I’ve been using that reframe as a gentle check when my anxiety creeps in. Abby also spoke about becoming a “joy injector” as an antidote to anxiety which felt both practical and empowering.

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I was struggling to decide between driving an hour to a networking event where we’d be making vision boards, or staying home to work. After traveling and being gone, staying home pulled at me as the responsible choice. But I really wanted to make another vision board.

 

A friend asked, “What’s your why?”

 

Immediately, I knew. I didn’t want to go for the people connection — I already had plans to attend a networking event the next day. I wanted to go to create.

 

So I chose to stay home AND start my day creating.

 

I pulled out my new watercolor accordion book and tentatively began to put color on the page. Even for me, it can feel hard to start after a break, and special supplies still feel intimidating when I don't have a plan. 

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Lexisworks | Most Beautiful Design

 

If you’re new here—hiya! I’m Lexis, the artist, designer + creative guide behind Lexisworks, Most Beautiful Design, and, of course, this newsletter.

 

My work—whether through design or creative workshops—is all about helping others express their unique brilliance with creativity + intention.

 

Every other Thursday, I share honest reflections on creativity, self-knowing, and what it means to live with intention — in pursuit of more joy, clarity, and meaning.

 

I’d love for you to stick around.