”It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many wise teachers - many of whom also happen to be my students. I was recently chatting with one of my regular yoga students after my Saturday morning slow flow class at Abide. She was asking me about all of the end of year happenings for my kids, particularly my daughter because she just graduated from high school. My friend's a little further along in launching her kids than I am and knew exactly how I was feeling. It’s hard to express the juxtaposition of emotions that come along with this time of life.
Launching my daughter brings me an immense amount of joy, excitement, and pride. Like, so much that I can hardly contain it, I am literally bursting at the seams thinking about what she is about to embark on. But also, there is a well of sadness, an emptiness that I will have to endure when she leaves.
This I know for sure:
The loneliness I will feel from her absence under my roof will sting and watching her thrive in a different environment will be fulfilling and joyful.
She is leaving my nest, she will learn how to fly high and far, and she is ready to soar. I have to let her go.
I have to learn how to be her mom in a different way; from a little further away, with a little less interference and influence.
So forgive me if I’ve gone quiet the past few months. There is so much to process and a whole lot of change to absorb. I’m doing my best to soak up every minute, be present for the milestones and keep my head above water.
Life is about to change in a big way - my daughter going off to college is just the first ripple.
Leaning into the stability of my practice feels important right now. Feeling the earth under my feet, my steady breath moving in and out, and reminding myself to soften the tension that grips my body when left unchecked. Learning to sit with discomfort, the unknown, the (what feels unbearable) and just bear it.
All of this, is the practice of being awake and alive.
This summer, I am enjoying working with so many of you as private clients and also seeing so many students showing up for my Saturday morning
Slow Flow at Abide Yoga on Larchmere. It has created a real community feeling to show up every week at 8:30AM and I am grateful for the opportunity to guide you.
I have a few weekly openings in my schedule this summer while some of my clients are traveling. Schedule yourself a session
here.