Mining for Gold: Notes on Courage, Culture, and Care
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February 2026
When you’re not feeling the love at work.
 
Can you remember when you first entered your professional life? When you got the call that you got the position you interviewed for, or the funding you needed to launch your business? You likely didn’t let that call go to voicemail. When they told you that they chose you, you were excited and hopeful. You called friends and family who were also waiting to hear an update, and you celebrated. It was an exciting beginning. You were, admit it, proud.
 
I sat with a client recently that described her career as a “calling”. It took years of education and sacrifice to earn the degree she has. Now decades in, she thought she would be making more of a difference. She's working 15 hour days, and her manager recently asked her what she did between 1:30-2pm because when she looked at the log sheet, those 30 minutes didn’t have any “actionable work” listed. My client has moved from passionate provider to just surviving each day. She feels that the system is asking her to stop caring. Apathy and exhaustion are setting in.
 
Her body is speaking. Stomach aches Sunday nights, migraines, blood pressure medication, and sleep disruption. The body is sending some clear messages. Apathy is the wisest part of herself trying to tell her, “This system is unwell and you investing yourself fully into it is an act of self-harm. We are going to shut down resources and conserve energy in order to survive this.”
 
When you see apathy on teams or in yourself that is a protective response to a dysfunctional system and unskilled leadership. Yes, apathy on teams is a direct reflection of leadership.
 
People don’t enter into their careers apathetically. Prolonged time in unwell systems breeds apathy. Apathy isn’t laziness. It’s a survival tool. We are built to care deeply.  It's not a character flaw or a lack of compassion. It's our nervous system acting out of conservation and survival. 
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My client doesn’t need to work harder, longer, or get more certifications or letters after her name. She also doesn't necessarily need to quit or leave her profession. I introduced her to the concept of  “Living BIG” and learning how to hold work differently.
 
 “Living BIG” is a lesson from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead™ program.
 
Boundaries: What is going to be ok, and what is not going to be ok for me in this season of my career? Have I communicated that?
Integrity: Living into your core values (this client’s top 2 are “Being of Service” and “Trust”)
Generosity: How can I can be as generous as possible with myself & others?
 
My client couldn’t change the system the way she dreamed of. She could change who she was within the system. And that changes everything.
 
Core values are typically stable your entire life. We define them differently based on our life experiences and the season of life we are in. Together my client and I re-defined how she lives into her core values of “Being of Service” and “Trust”. “Being of Service” in her 30’s meant 12-15 hour days, overnight shifts, weekends and being on call. In this current season of her life, it now means how she is in service to each and every patient and being fully present with each person. She got really clear on the type of provider she wanted to be with each patient and described in detail who she wanted to be in the room, regardless of the demands of the system. It also means being in service TO HERSELF.  She had some deep feelings about being in service to herself. The recognition that she had not considered herself was tender and real. She re-defined her core value of Trust. It used to be giving people full trust automatically. She now is exploring building self-trust. How will she have her own back at work? How will she deeply care for herself before, during, and after work? Can she count on herself to put work down? Can she trust herself and her needs? Will she listen and adjust the next time her body speaks?
 
Your resentment is tied to boundaries. Your values are tied to living fully aligned.
 
With clarity on boundaries and core values, now my client had some oxygen and spaciousness to feel something new: Generosity
 
Generosity emerged once we had created boundaries and safety around core values being visible and aligned. She was able to recognize her manager is doing the best she can in a system that is probably demanding a lot of her too. It sparked the curiosity and willingness to have a conversation with her manager about what they both need in order to trust each other and work together rather than making up stories or getting defensive.
 

 
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Mining for Gold: The Practice
 
Think of a difficult relationship at work or in your personal life. A person you have a really hard time connecting with or there seems to be a pattern of miscommunication or resentment. Could “Living BIG” offer some curiosity cues or clarity?
 
Remember: The first conversation is always with yourself.
 
Boundaries: What boundaries do I need to have in place for this relationship to work? Have I communicated those?
Integrity: What are my top  core values? How can I live into them more in this relationship?
Generosity: What’s the most generous assumption I can make about this person? How can I be generous with myself?
 
Bring the Dare to Lead ™ Academy to your Organization Spring 2026 
12 week Dare to Lead™ program
 
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Today’s work needs leaders who are self aware and can lead through uncertainty, risk, and change with grounded confidence. When leaders don’t do their own internal work, they work their issues out on their people and cause harm.
 
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Teams thrive on two essentials: courageous leadership and effective communication. When leaders build trust and teams understand how to connect across different communication styles, collaboration deepens, innovation grows, and accountability sticks.
 
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Diane & Porter 
 
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