One summer day, my mom and I were walking our black lab, Velvet, and our other dog, Sandy, when another dog, almost identical to Velvet, started following us home. It was chaos with tangled leashes and dogs circling.

Tuesday Triage

February 24, 2026

Hi there,

 

One summer day, my mom and I were walking our black lab, Velvet, and our other dog, Sandy, when another dog, almost identical to Velvet, started following us home. It was chaos with tangled leashes and dogs circling.

 

Later that evening, my dad came home from work, opened the back door with complete confidence, and proudly announced, “Look who I found!”

 

He thought we had lost Velvet. We hadn’t. Instead, he had just brought the exact dog we’d spent all day avoiding straight into the house. The result was fifteen minutes of barking, scrambling, and total confusion, and a family story we still laugh about today.

 

I think about that moment when it comes to how a lot of people approach estate planning, moving forward with total confidence in situations they don’t fully understand. And when money, family, and special circumstances collide, the consequences can be much bigger than a chaotic living room.

Today’s Tuesday Triage question comes from a grandmother in Tennessee who’s doing exactly what I hope people do: slowing down, asking questions, and making sure her gifts actually have the impact she intends.

 

She wants to divide her required minimum distribution equally among her grandchildren. Simple and fair… right?

 

But one of her grandchildren has Down syndrome. And a well-intentioned gift could accidentally jeopardize his eligibility for essential government benefits.

 

I walk through:

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is slow down and ask questions before writing the check.

Money almost always carries expectations, even when we don’t realize it. How will the gift be used? Will gratitude look the way we imagined? Will one person’s gift create tension with someone else?

 

Today's episode isn’t just about special needs estate planning. It’s about communication, intention, and making sure our generosity lands the way we hoped it would, both for ourselves and for others.

I’m now actively practicing law again and offering Tennessee estate planning services. So if you’re thinking, “I probably need help putting my own plan in place,” I’d be honored to help.

PS: Have a question you’d like featured on a future Tuesday Triage episode?