The Next Chapter Catalyst Newsletter
“Is Fear Our Friend or Foe?”
This Issue at a Glance
 
  • Why women get stuck trying to avoid the “wrong” move
  • How fear erodes agency and self-trust
  • What restores steadiness when the stakes feel high
  • A March prompt to reclaim choice
  • 3 grounded micro-moves to rebuid
 
 
Hi friend,
 
You don’t need me to tell you that our world right now is filled with fear.
 
Every day seems to bring a new headline, a new uncertainty, another thing to navigate as mothers, partners, leaders, and humans trying to make thoughtful choices.
 
And it got me thinking about how we meet fear much closer to home, in our own lives, in the day-to-day decisions we make.
 
What do we actually have control over?
 
Because lately I’m hearing fear on steroids from my clients. There’s just been so much happening that many of them are reaching a breaking point.
 
And naturally, that has me reflecting on my own complicated relationship with fear.
 
Fear has always pushed me to act, and as midlife women, we do love a completed to-do list.
 
But fear also questions my needs, my wants, and my capabilities.
 
Now, I’m an adventurer at heart.
 
I love change.
I crave growth.
 
And I’m also scared shitless of making the wrong move.
 
At every pivotal shift in my life, fear has been very clear about its concerns.
 
It shows up with questions:
 
What if this doesn’t work?
What if you regret this?
What if you’re making a mistake?
 
For a long time, I thought the goal was to silence that voice.
 
But I’ve learned something different.
 
Fear isn’t the enemy.
 
It’s information.
 
So I listen.
I give it a voice.
I do my own research.
And then I make a decision.
 
Not based on fear’s conclusion, but based on what I know about myself.
 
That’s how I’ve navigated the biggest turning points in my life.
 
I chose to move to Mill Valley when we needed a fresh start and a place where our family could truly belong after divorce.
 
I chose to launch my coaching practice so the impact I care about could reach beyond my own circle.
 
And I keep choosing, again and again, a life that fits me first.
 
Here’s what my “personal research” usually looks like:
  • What matters most to me right now?
  • Who am I becoming in this chapter?
  • What are the actual facts versus the story my fear is telling?
Fear shows up when something meaningful is at stake.
 
That’s why it feels loud.
 
But it doesn’t get to run the show.
 
These days, my relationship with fear looks something like this:
 
“Fear, we can go for the occasional day walk together…
…but we are definitely not dating
 
And we’re absolutely not in a situationship.”
 
That’s what this month’s newsletter is about.
 
Not eliminating fear. 
It is not our enemy.
Restoring agency.
 
Because we don’t coach fear out of you.
 
We work with the whole person, fear included, and move anyway.
 
And in times like these, that ability might be one of the most powerful skills we have.
 
This months insight: The Trap of Trying to Get It “Right”
Women aren't afraid of effort, they are afraid of consequences. So they analyze, research, wait for clarity and try to make the decision risk-proof.
 
But the more you try to guarantee the outcome,
the harder it becomes to move. Second-guessing feels responsible and waiting feels wise. Until months, sometimes years pass. 
 
The issue isn’t indecision. 
It’s trying to eliminate uncertainty before you act.
 
And agency doesn’t return until you move with it in the room.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Work That Restores Agency
 
We don’t talk you into being braver.
We don’t dismiss financial reality.
We don’t bypass practical consequences.
 
We work with the whole person.
 
Fear included.
 
Here’s what that actually looks like:
 
Step 1. Surface the Real Fear
Not the vague anxiety.
The precise sentence running your decisions.
 
“If I make the wrong move, I won’t recover.”
“If I lose this income, I lose my safety.”
“If I choose differently, I’ll destabilize everything.”
 
When it’s specific, it becomes workable. We filter the story with facts - the truth.
 
Step 2: Separate Protection from Identity
Fear is usually protecting something real:
 
Security.
Independence.
Dignity.
Choice.
 
We respect that.
But we stop letting protection become paralysis.
 
You are not your fear.
You are a capable woman with fear in the room.
 
That distinction matters.
Step 3:  Reclaim Agency in Small, 
Concrete Ways
We look at:
 
Real numbers.
Real timelines.
Real options.
Real alternatives.
 
Not catastrophic projections.
Not “what if everything collapses.”
 
But actual information.
 
Perspective restores steadiness.
 
And steadiness restores choice.
 
 
Step 4: Move Before You Feel 100% Certain
This is the part most women resist.
 
You don’t wait until the fear disappears.
 
You take one informed, grounded step while it’s still there.
A conversation.
A boundary.
An exploration.
A plan B.
 
Not a leap.
A move.
 
And when you move, something shifts internally.
Agency returns.
 
Not because the outcome is guaranteed.
But because you are no longer frozen.
 
That’s how momentum actually begins.
Why This Matters
 
When fear runs quietly in the background, women don’t collapse.
 
They stall.
They overanalyze.
They delay.

They wait to feel 100% sure.
 
And the longer that goes on, the more they question themselves.
 
That’s when shame creeps in and hijacks your identity:
“I used to be decisive.”
“I don’t recognize myself in this.”
“How did I get here?”
 
You didn’t lose your edge.
 
You’ve just been carrying too much consequence alone.
 
This work is about restoring your ability to choose - without pretending fear isn’t in the room.
March Catalyst Prompt
 
Instead of asking,
“How do I get rid of this fear?”
 
Ask:
“What choice am I avoiding I don’t have right now?”
Sit with that.
 
Then ask:
“If I trusted myself just 10% more, what would future me respect me for doing next?”
 
And finally:
“What is one grounded move that restores my sense of agency - even slightly?”
 
Not the full plan.
The next step.
Three Micro Moves for March
1. Catch the Moment You Brace
Notice the next time you hesitate - before the email, decision, the #s.
Pause instead of pushing through.
Ask: What am I protecting right now?
 
2. Reduce the Decision Size
If you’re frozen, the decision is too big.
Don’t decide the future - decide the next conversation or data point.
Make the move small enough to act.
 
3. Make One Choice Without Over-Explaining
Choose something small this week and don’t justify it.
Not defensively or loudly. Just cleanly.
A boundary. A no. A calendar decision.
 
 
A Closing Note
 
If something in you is tired of bracing before every decision…
That’s not a failure of strength.
 
It’s a signal that you’re ready to move from survival to choice.
 
You don’t need to eliminate fear.
You need to stop letting it decide for you.
 
It just doesn’t get the final vote.
 
That’s the work.
 
And I’m here when you’re not ready but committed to change!
 
Warmly,
Lucy
 
Lucy Regan
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18 Bayview Avenue
Mill Valley, CA 94941, United States