Hi friend,
You don’t need me to tell you that our world right now is filled with fear.
Every day seems to bring a new headline, a new uncertainty, another thing to navigate as mothers, partners, leaders, and humans trying to make thoughtful choices.
And it got me thinking about how we meet fear much closer to home, in our own lives, in the day-to-day decisions we make.
What do we actually have control over?
Because lately I’m hearing fear on steroids from my clients. There’s just been so much happening that many of them are reaching a breaking point.
And naturally, that has me reflecting on my own complicated relationship with fear.
Fear has always pushed me to act, and as midlife women, we do love a completed to-do list.
But fear also questions my needs, my wants, and my capabilities.
Now, I’m an adventurer at heart.
I love change.
I crave growth.
And I’m also scared shitless of making the wrong move.
At every pivotal shift in my life, fear has been very clear about its concerns.
It shows up with questions:
What if this doesn’t work?
What if you regret this?
What if you’re making a mistake?
For a long time, I thought the goal was to silence that voice.
But I’ve learned something different.
Fear isn’t the enemy.
It’s information.
So I listen.
I give it a voice.
I do my own research.
And then I make a decision.
Not based on fear’s conclusion, but based on what I know about myself.
That’s how I’ve navigated the biggest turning points in my life.
I chose to move to Mill Valley when we needed a fresh start and a place where our family could truly belong after divorce.
I chose to launch my coaching practice so the impact I care about could reach beyond my own circle.
And I keep choosing, again and again, a life that fits me first.
Here’s what my “personal research” usually looks like:
- What matters most to me right now?
- Who am I becoming in this chapter?
- What are the actual facts versus the story my fear is telling?
Fear shows up when something meaningful is at stake.
That’s why it feels loud.
But it doesn’t get to run the show.
These days, my relationship with fear looks something like this:
“Fear, we can go for the occasional day walk together…
…but we are definitely not dating
And we’re absolutely not in a situationship.”
That’s what this month’s newsletter is about.
Not eliminating fear.
It is not our enemy.
Restoring agency.
Because we don’t coach fear out of you.
We work with the whole person, fear included, and move anyway.
And in times like these, that ability might be one of the most powerful skills we have.