March 26th, 2026
Every conversation you have is either bringing people closer to you or pushing them further away. The good news? Once you start noticing it, you can change it.
If you want to be understood or influential, try thinking in terms of distance. Are the words you choose, the energy you use, and the nonverbals you bring into the room narrowing the gap between you and others? Or are they quietly widening it?
Picture a line in between you and others, with each of you located on that line or multiple, intersecting lines. Imagine you are trying to move your locations on that line or lines closer. When you frame communication this way, questions like these start to matter:
- How did your language and word choices invite people to be curious or to care?
- What was your body language signaling, even when you were not speaking?
- Did people leave the conversation feeling closer to you and your ideas, or further away?
A Next Step
Try this for fun: audit a few of your recent conversations. Pick ones where you wanted to be understood, or where you were trying to move a group toward a decision or a new direction.
Reflect on how it went. Were you building closeness or unintentionally creating distance? Even small observations can unlock big shifts in how you show up next time.
There are so many ways we can close the gap! It starts with noticing.
