April 9th, 2026
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to facilitate an activity with a group of beautiful humans! The activity was designed to be engaging and energizing, giving participants a chance to reflect on a year's worth of learning together: finding what resonated with them personally while also hearing what others found meaningful, all while moving in and out of conversations.
A participant returned to the room while the activity was underway. I went over, welcomed him back, and explained what was happening. His face shifted, and he let me know the activity would be really hard for him. I asked if he was comfortable sharing why. He was generous enough to do so, and I thanked him. I offered an adapted way to participate and also made it clear that opting out entirely was fine too. He chose the adapted version.
At the end of the evening, I followed up with him. He started to apologize. I made sure he knew that no apology was needed. Advocating for what you need to be part of the learning is something worth celebrating, not apologizing for.
Here is what got me even more excited. By approaching someone and inviting them into what was happening, I created space for them to name what was not working. I was able to be present, listen, pause, and ask questions from a place of genuine care and curiosity. I was able to adjust based on their feedback. They were able to choose something that felt more like belonging.
These moments happen all the time. The question is whether we are paying enough attention to notice them. Are we really listening to what someone needs in order to feel like a true member of a group? When we do, how different does the whole experience become, for everyone?
A Next Step
The next time you notice a moment like this, what are some ways you might find out what someone needs so you can adjust and invite them in?
