Last week, I didn’t send a newsletter. Not because I forgot or didn’t have anything to say, but because I was sick. I had a gnarly cold complete with incessant hacking, all the snot and a sinus headache that gave migraines a run for their money. What caught me off guard wasn’t the sickness itself, though. It was how bad I felt about resting.
Not physically but mentally. My creativity was garbage.
There was this low, persistent hum in the background telling me I was falling behind, being inconsistent. I've sent out a Friday newsletter since 2019 gosh darn it! I HAVE TO SEND THE NEWSLETTER! I just have a stupid cold. I should be able to type something up on a computer, right?
But on the other hand...I’m sick. Resting isn’t a failure here, it’s the appropriate response, right? This is why I work for myself, to have this kind of flexibility, right??
And yet, the guilt was still there.
It made me realize how deeply many of us have internalized the idea that our worth is tied to output and achievement - even if that output is emotional, creative or cognitive, not just physical. We are sold a lie that our value is in our ability to "push through" and "lock in." so you can achieve at all costs. That even mental rest has to be earned or justified. We've been conditioned to treat ourselves like machines.
I found myself feeling frustrated, because I spend so much of my work helping people reconnect with their bodies and slow down. We work on choosing presence over performance in and outside of the bedroom. And there I was, feeling uneasy for doing exactly that.
So I’ve been viewing this week through a different lens: Cognitive rest isn’t a disruption to your life but rather a part of your life. It’s not a reward you unlock after being productive enough. It’s a basic, ongoing need, and it doesn’t need to be "purchased" (especially when you work for yourself. lol.)
I’m back this week in your inbox, not because I pushed through, but because I didn’t. And I guarantee you didn't even miss me. :)
